How do you ever know for sure??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
How do you ever know for sure??
4
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 3:36pm
Who's the "one" for you. I mean I've loved a few guys with all I had and It's difficult to know what to do. Most of you have probably heard my stories of dwelling over crap and I guess I could learn to deal with that but how do you know if he's the one or not? How do you know if you will always be happy with them and how do you know that it'll always be true. How do you have a positive out look on anything when everything always seems to go wrong in this world? Ugh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 3:49pm
I have no idea...I'm in the same boat as you are. I keep asking women who ARE 'IN LOVE', and they all just have the same answer, 'you just know'. So what happens when you don't just 'know'? Does that mean that he is NOT the one? Or that you're just reading too much into it? If you find the answer, let me know!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 3:57pm
You can never know for sure - it's a leap of faith based on how he makes you feel about you, your feelings for him, your level of compatibility in the ways that matter - character and values and whether you love him and want to be with him. Those who say "you just know" are not very helpful - some are head over heels, some are lucky to "just know" and some will be divorced in 5 years . ..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 3:59pm
I think when you are "in love" you feel that you "just know" but it can be tricky - I think it still involves a leap of faith to "just know" - and no I don't think it's essential - I know of many happy marriages where it was a real decision making process. Also see how long those women have been with the men, whether the man had to be won over, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 5:47pm
The truth is that nobody knows for sure but people take that risk. I thought that my ex-husband was the one and no one could tell me otherwise. Well, we divorced 5 years later. You can look at certain factors to sort of predict or analyze your feelings. Some things you should consider are respect for each other, compatibility, good communication, good chemistry, and if both of you are more or less on the same maturity level. Just my 2 cents.