How do you know she/he is the ONE?
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| Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:39am |
She asked me when we broke up why I thought she was the ONE, and I just said "I know" but couldn't give a more descriptive answer. I thought of it a few days later as SHE was the only thing I could think about. She is my ONE because not just how completely compatible we are, but because with her, I can truly be myself. I have exposed to her a level of me I didn't know existed and the same goes vice versa with her as well.
Do you think giving her time and space can make her realize I am the ONE again? (those were basically her words. She thought some of her passion for the relationship was missing and she is hoping or trying to find it again). Since she's already had to deal w/not missing me as badly because of the distance, wouldn't time apart just enhance those defenses she's developed? How did you guys/girls (i'm particularly interested to hear what the women have to say) know your bf, mate, or ex was the one?

The following will probably sound a little strange...but Pianoguy doesn't think there's ANY man or woman who comes under the header: "THE ONE!" What we usually find is a person who has compatible thoughts and feelings to ours. It's a person we feel comfortable sharing our love, feelings and life with.
However...if you take the time to do some real exploring, you'll probably find many others who fall into that same category. . But...let's get back to your situation...okay?
YOU are head over heels in love with a woman who (you believe) is everything you want and need. Unfortunately, her 'needs and desires' aren't completely compatible with yours..so she made the choice to break things off and explore other...err...possibilities? Does this mean EVERYTHING IS FINISHED between you both? Not necessarily. But it takes a man (or woman) who REALLY CARES about his S.O. with plenty of courage (aka the guts) to let that person go!
Just a little more food for thought...a man and a woman can "grow in different directions" whether they've been dating for 10 weeks or married for 10 years! The trick is to realize the change, make any adjustments (if possible), or understand that those "new horizons" your partner is interested in...don't involve YOU!
Give the girl time to discover what's most important in her life, okay?
Best wishes and warm thoughts from...
Pianoguy
Timing is a concept that I know is very important, but in our situation, timing was not an issue until it was compounded by long distance. I will be done w/school in 2 years and back. Will that necessarily make the situation different? In a way, it sort of pisses me off that she is so emotionally weak as to not be able or willing to tough out a relationship she knows would lead to future happiness (she acknowledges that I could make her happy and that she can imagine her life 5-10 years down the line married to me and happy) just because it was tough on her right now.