how to get him to propose

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
how to get him to propose
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:00pm
I've been w/my BF for 2 1/2 yrs and we are living together. I am 33 & he's 31 and neither one of us has been married before. I am ready for marriage and he say's that he wants to too but he won't give me any idea as to when. He tell's me that it's a timing issue. He has all these projects that he wants to finish, well I just don't see them getting done anytime soon. Is he just saying that to give him more time? We are great friends and do almost everything together. People always assume that we are married already and he never say's anything different to them. He also say's stuff like "your future sister n law" or "when we get married",he even told him mother something about this fall?! I almost feel like he just keeps dangling the carrot/carat in front of me. I wish he would just talk to me about it but every time I bring it up I feel like I'm nagging him or pressuring him and I don't want that. My friends tell me that maybe he's just waiting to surprise me. Well alright already I'm ready to be surprised. I've even considered proposing to him but I never will. So any advice would be greatly appreciated as to how to get him to propose!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:48pm

Well, it seems like you're "pre-engaged"--he's already announced you as his future wife, talked bout being married, etc. He's not running from the idea, or from you.

If he says it's all about "timing"--then plan a long engagement. This might indeed involve, if not "asking" him outright, at least saying something like "Well, would you feel comfortable with setting a date sometime around a year to eighteen months from now? I really love the idea of us being married--and I'd like to start planning for that to happen."

If he gets upset about that, you need to talk. I'd be as non-confrontational as possible about it. You want to marry him, and he seems to want to marry you. Tell him you are really excited about being married to him and just want to get the ball rolling.