How to get a present from the heart?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
How to get a present from the heart?
15
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 12:46am

OK, so me and my guy have been talking about presents. I want him to get me something that he comes up with. I don't even want any item in particular, just some stupid little thing that comes from his heart.
I know 10 things he could get me, and he wants me to make a list and then he'll pick something, but I want HIM to think of what to get me.
I'm gonna be starting college next year and one of the things I thought would be really sweet from him would be a sweatshirt that said "college student" or something like that. Another thing is that to go to college I'm gonna be moving to where he lives, and so I thought maybe another sweet thing he could get me is just a guide of the city with some places marked with little comments like "I'd take you here to get the best hotdog in the city" or "Here we would go watch a movie and cuddle in the dark"...or you know, stuff like that. BUT I don't want to tell him to get me these things cause I want them to come from his heart. His ideas were like a a shirt or an mp3 player, but I really don't want that. I want something more meaningful and I've told him but he just can't decide and wants me to just give him a list. He's very sweet, thoughtful and sensitive, so I kinda thought he would think of something like what I want. But I guess that's not the case. lol.
So my question is, what do I do? Should I just tell him what I want, or let him get me some thing?

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I've posted additional info in message 4, 8 and 10.

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Edited 11/28/2007 12:53 pm ET by marianad2004




Edited 11/28/2007 1:10 pm ET by marianad2004

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 8:34pm

-----People show affection and thoughtfulness in different ways, it shouldn't take a material gift.-----

Sorry I didn't answer sooner, I was at the dentist for like 2 and a half hours getting a wisdom tooth taken out, he was having trouble taking it out and it turned out it was because there was another little one behind it that he didnt see in the xray at first. I have 6, 2 on the bottom and 4 at the top. I'm a freak, I know. lol
Still have 5 more to take out, yay me.

But yeah, I know that it shouldn't take a material gift, that's why I told him, he doesn't have to get me anything, he could send me a letter and that would be enough. But he wants to get me something, so, if he does, at least I'd want something that has meaning, not just something picked out at a store, you know?




Edited 11/28/2007 8:38 pm ET by marianad2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 10:06pm

>>at least I'd want something that has meaning, not just something picked out at a store, you know?<<


how about telling him you like homemade gifts?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 4:45pm

If I told my fiance to make me something or give me something "meaningful", he'd be sick to his stomach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 5:28pm

---If your bf doesn't feel comfortable doing this, you should drop it. You're making him uncomfortable, so it doesn't matter that we're all telling you you shouldn't be demanding this from him. You shouldn't be demanding this from him because he doesn't WANT to do it. ----

I understand what you mean, and I'm not demanding, I'm just saying what I'd prefer, but it's not that he feels uncomfortable. He just doesn't know what to get me.
He did think of something first that would've been very sweet and it was the kind of gift I'm talking about, but then he couldn't get it afterall, so he told me what it was. So I know he has it in him. He just can't figure out what to get me now.

----I don't blame him. I'd be totally stressed giving someone like you a gift. I'd feel like I couldn't rise to the occassion.----

I'm gonna like anything he gets me, I just wish it had some meaning behind it and that he thought of it. That's all. He knows what I like, he knows me better than anyone else. But if he ends up getting me a shirt, I'll love it too.
I've never liked telling people to get me something specific. A gift should come from that person. I don't wanna tell him, "get me this or get me that" cause it might be too expensive or too cheap. I don't know. He should spend whatever he wants to.

----I can't even figure out what you mean.---

Lol, I don't know, I guess it's hard to explain. I've already explained it 10 times, there's no other way I can say it.

But anyway, thanks guys for your replies.




Edited 11/29/2007 5:29 pm ET by marianad2004
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-29-2007 - 5:54pm

A big mistake people make in relationships is to think their partner should be able to "read their minds"..and if they do, it means they love them. There is no reason to expect that he should know exactly what it is you want or what gift would make you happy. It's absolutely fine to give him a list of things you like. Otherwise, how can he know? Some people are great at getting the perfect gifts. Most are not. It has nothing to do with how he feels about you or what you mean to him.


In all aspects of the relationship, communicate. Let him know what makes you happy and what does not. That's the best way to build a fine, fulfilling relationship.


Best wishes,

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