How to get rid of effects of this

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
How to get rid of effects of this
2
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 7:19am

Hi guys, Please read my situation carefully and help me. Some people might find it funny, but believe me, its not funny for me. I am really in problem!!!!!

I am a 25 years old male. I am suffering from a serious depression problem nowadays. However, I am not sure that the reason (explained below) behind this depression is actually a psychological disease or disorder and if yes, can be cured or not!

I am a big fan of a TV actress. In the beginning, which means till last year, I was just a fan of hers but in the last 6 months, I feel like I have fallen in love with her. Although, I belong to different country and I know that there is no way on earth I can even meet her, still I feel depressed and keep on thinking about her every time. I am finance professional and earn a decent middle class living. But because of this problem, I have come to a point where I have started disliking my profession. I don’t feel like coming to work anymore. It is affecting my work and personal life. I live with my parents and brothers, and in home, I feel like getting out of there. I have started disliking my profession because I think that my profession does not have fame, and I am not famous like her. I do fantasize that I was also an actor/player who was famous and rich and I would go and ask her out and all that. Most of my day goes on thinking and fantasizing how I would have gone to her and proposed her and her reactions and we would have got married and all that. When I wake up in the morning, I imagine what the time is and what she would be doing now. I read forums about her fan club and people say that they met her in that country and she is so beautiful, down to earth, no attitude, she is so simple, they even like her more after meeting. So I feel if I could meet her too, but as mentioned earlier, it is not possible coz I belong to different country and I don’t see anyway I can meet her.

I am just 25 years old. I was very career oriented about my profession before but now, I have come to form an opinion, that my profession does not have fame, it is useless and does not have enough money, and the profession she is in is easy, has so much fame, and a lot of money. So now it is like I don’t care about growing in my profession anymore. This is also worrying me. I hope you understand my situation.

Till about 6 months before when this all started, I was ok and just though this will go with time and just a passing thing. But now recently, lets say 6 – 8 weeks, I have started feeling so depressed. I have repeatedly received several comments lately from my coworkers and friends that my face tells them that I am very very depressed. My manger, my coworkers and my friends, all ask me if everything is ok and if there is anyway they can help me. I simply tell them that no there is no reason, and I am happy and probably I am just tired. But they are very right!!!!!

Unfortunately, I cannot tell this to anybody. I don’t think anyone will understand it. They will just make fun of me. And even if they don’t make fun of me, they cannot help me. I even thought I should start seeing other girls and divert my mind, but this doesn’t help me either.

I am usually online, surfing on the net information about her, her interviews, her profile, her pictures and all that.

I watched her on tv yesterday night and this morning when I woke up, I had headache and I realized that whole night, despite of sleeping, she was going thru in my mind and I was thinking about her. I feel like crying when I wake up. Sometimes when my depression increases, I simply go outside, or on bed and cry.

I even went for a short trip outside the country and enjoyed with my friends, but this did not help much during my trip (it did a little) and when I came back, it started all over again with the same intensity (or probably more).

After reading my situation, can you tell me if I am going thru a psychological disorder or disease? Or I am a special case? Is it common problem???? Can I come back to normal life? It is affecting my work life and personal life. I don’t like to talk to people who are close to me, I cant concentrate on work nowadays. Initially I thought it will just pass by but it is getting worst and worst day by day. I have tried my best to explain the intensity of my problem to you thru this letter but believe me, it is far worst than it sounds like after reading this mail. One other problem is that I cannot discuss this with anyone also!!!! Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 8:43am

Hy, I'm sorry you are going through this.

Quite frankly, you've totally lost touch with reality. You're seeking something that can never happen and ruining your life over it.

What makes this even sadder is that you don't even know this woman. You're infatuated with her looks and the image her publicist presents. What you see isn't what you get.

Do you remember when Tom Cruise had a publicist? He seemed like a really nice bloke. The kind of guy you'd take home to meet your mother. Then he sacked the publicist and we realised just how much of the real him had been kept under wraps. We realised what an idiot he truly was.

Get a referral to a good psychiatrist. This is no simple problem you're dealing with. You need to get a grip on your world before you waste any more of your life.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 10:27am

You're right, this is NOT funny--it's a serious problem. You need to re-connect with the real world, and it's not going to be easy. Start by seeing your doctor and telling him or her that you feel depressed and you don't want to go to work. The doctor will probably prescribe an antidepressant, and that may be enough. Give it a couple of months to see if it works; if not, you'll need to go back. Sometimes you have to try several different medications to find the one that works for you.

If you still feel depressed after trying several prescriptions, you may need to have a few therapy sessions, although I know you want to avoid this. In the meantime, get LOTS of exercise, and give a good deal of your free time to helping others who are less fortunate than you are. The medication, exercise, and helping others may be enough to help you break free of your obsession.