How to handle daughter's affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
How to handle daughter's affair
3
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 7:28am

My daughter has been married less than a year to a man my husband and I really like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 9:52am

"What I don't support is this affair."
I agree with your stance here, cheating is not acceptable.

However... this really isn't your issue to directly support or not. As far as I can see, your choices are to keep quiet about this whole affair and let it unravel on its own, or go to your daughter, tell her you love her but that you're concerned about how she's doing, and let her know that if she ever wants to talk to you that you'll be there for her.

If you tell her that you read her Email and that you're disgusted with her behavior, as much as you might want to say it, she will no longer trust you or want to confide in you.

Regardless of her behavior she's still your daughter and I'm sure you want to see her making better decisions. It's got to hurt to see her doing this to someone else. You'll have the best results if you open the lines of communication to her and tell her that you sense something isn't right. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 12:27pm

Welcome to the board sunny1157,


I can your concern, but honestly it isn't your place to be involved at this point in time. Don't say anything to her about knowing about the affair. It will only cause her to not trust you and to push you away from her. What you can do is support her when she talks to you about her problems. You could ask her how things are going and then tell her that she is always welcome to stay at your house for a while if she needs to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 1:57pm

Welcome to the board sunny1157,


You don't have to address the messages, but you can address the overage on the bill..... "Hey, last month had a huge overage and since I get the bill, I noticed this number...." see if she will share.