how hard is it supposed to be to save?
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how hard is it supposed to be to save?
| Thu, 07-17-2008 - 3:16pm |
When should I give up?
Married 4 years. Second marriage for both. We're in our 40's He loves kids and

Welcome to the board nomoreforever,
I agree that right now isn't the time to be making any sudden moves. Especially since you were happy to be married to him last month.
Would marriage counseling be an option? Because it seems like it would really work sense both of you are willing to try and not give up.
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He loves kids, you don't like them, and he gets depressed on a regular basis because he feels like he's wasting his life not being a dad.
...Did you two discuss having children before you got married? What did you decide?
we didnt' have to discuss children because he had just found out he was infertile a year before meeting me. We agreed to look into adoption though, but we can't afford it. We are on "the list" to adopt an older child, being that we are older,
"I also don't think it's correct to "get" a child in order to save the marriage."
No I agree, having a kid does not save a marriage that needs to be repaired. It just seemed like the absence of kids was really weighing on him and causing his depression, and I wanted to ask. This does make things more difficult. I know it's not him coming here and writing this today, but it would be great for him to see an individual counselor.
I usually hate suggesting counseling because it's expensive for most people. But he seems depressed too often.
Welcome to the board nomoreforever,
Are you making enough time for yourself to rejuvenate and time alone with him as a couple - as in leaving town so family can't interfere?
Reading material to consider:
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
The 10 Second Kiss, Ellen Kreidman