How to keep his attention?
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How to keep his attention?
| Tue, 05-29-2007 - 6:08pm |
Recently, a few girls have come into my boyfriends life (not in a seriously threatening way, at least I hope not) and I'm trying to think of ways to keep his mind on me instead of wandering away to them. We have a great relationship and we've been together for 4 years, but I feel like he's getting bored with me sometimes. I'm afraid that he's interested in these other girls and I do have a jealousy problem that needs to be worked on. To keep him interested in me, should I just leave him alone a bit and wait for him to come to me, or what..I don't want him to view me as clingy and I honestly feel like I have competition with these other girls even though we've been together for awhile and I don't want to lose my boyfriend. Any re-kindling tips would be greatly appreciated!

Welcome to the board ilovemyboyfriend,
There are some good books out there to consider:
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Jealousy, Taming the Green-Eyed Monster by Eugene, Schoenfeld
If This Is Love Why Do I Feel So Insecure? by Carl G. Hindy
Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures by Ayala Malach Pines
Overcoming Jealousy and Possessiveness by Paul A. Hauck
Anything that's a new experience, a new activity, a new look for you, new sexy lingerie, almost anything at all that reminds him he doesn't know everything there is to know about you, is a good thing.
What do you mean these girls have come into his life? In what way? Are they co-workers? In what capacity have they arrived? This is a very important question. It's one thing to have co-workers, or casual friends, but if your boyfriend is getting involved with other women, you should really know the particulars of the relationship. What's going on? Where do they spend time? And for what reason?
Rather than ignore it, I'd talk it over with him..(leaving the jealousy out of it for now). Just ask him calmly and clearly who they are, why they're here and what's going on. If you're not comfortable with these relationships, it's perfectly fine for you to set boundaries and standards in your relationship. Let him know that it doesn't work for you for him to be spending time with other women. There's nothing wrong with that. If there are issues in your relationship that need to be worked on, spend time working them out. Make it less boring. Find out how he truly feels about the relationship and about you. Are you on the same page? Do you envision the relationship going in the same way? You've been together for 4 years. That's a long time. What's next?
Facing a situation fully always works better than brushing it under the rug.
Best wishes,
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