How long did it take.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
How long did it take.....
3
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:58pm
Hi All,

I posted this on another site and would like your opinions....

I was involved in a long distance relationship for just over a year, we broke up just before Thanksgiving...it did not work out for many reasons. I tried to save it, but there was nothing I could do. I found out very recently that she is now engaged to be married in November. I though our relationship was very important to both of us even if it didn't work out like I wanted. My questions is, have any of you had experiences or know of people who have gotten engaged so quickly after what was thought to be a very intense & loving relationship? If so, have they worked out? I must admit to being a little dumbfounded, moving on has been much slower for me.

Thanks, Uly

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:31pm
Let go of her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:54pm
It's been nine months since you broke up and she became engaged to someone else. That isn't exactly warp speed. Your relationship was long distance, which often means you don't spend a lot of time together in person and for most people it's that time that draws them closer together. If she and her fiance live near each other and were able to see each other frequently, nine months is not that short a time to make a serious commitment. Your relationship with her did not work out for many reasons, and she moved on to find someone who is right for her. Break-ups are not the same as a death of a beloved spouse where a long mourning period is common before moving on to find a new love. You need to stop grieving and get on with your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 5:35pm
Everyone reacts differently to the end of a relationship. Some grieve for the end of a relationship while they are still in the relationship. Some people are out of synch with each other and actually feel relief when the relationship comes to an end. Others still jump into another relationship rather fast and may not have healed completely from the break up.

She's doing with her life what she wants/needs. You have to take the same steps to move on. Grief for what might have been, for what could have been, for what you hoped would have been. AND remember YOU are NOT less than because of her choices, actions, decisions, etc. It also doesn't mean that when you were together that she didn't love you, like you or want to be with you. Life has changed.


Carrie