How long do I pay the price for cheating
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| Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:57am |
He thinks I was taken advantage of and can't seem to accept that it was a mutual (albeit very poor) decision. He says that the issue will never subside if I don't agree that I was taken advantage of. Viewing my indiscretion as "date rape" is the only way he can accept it, I think. What makes the matter worse is that the other guy's parents and my parents are very close friends, as are our siblings, and my fiance refuses to be in any situation in which they are around.
How long do I have to suffer for a previous indiscretion? I know that what I did was wrong, but he can't torment me over it for the rest of my life, and he can't force me to change my opinion simply to match his. What should I do? I do love him, and we have dogs and a house together. I don't want to call off the wedding, but I know this will remain a major conflict for a long time to come.

That is a tough situation, it really is. Maybe I'm just reading this wrong, but you don't sound very remorseful. Maybe he's picking up on that too, and I'm sure that would feel very hurtful.
Whatever you do, make sure that the issue is completely forgiven and resolved between the two of you before marriage. Sure, it stinks to have to postpone the wedding, but it would be even worse if it ended in divorce just a few weeks later. Good luck.
www.marriagebuilders.com Check that site out too.
Carrie
Stand back and think about this...he's just as crazy if he'll marry you after what happened. The pair of you are seriously crazy..honest! Why would you even marry when you both know that the relationship is at best, unstable. There is absolutely no strong foundation here, but betrayal and guilt..and you want to enter into a marriage on those terms??
The two of you should walk away, shake hands and say it was nice knowin ya! If you marry this man under these current circumstances, you will be one of the most unhappiest ppl, in a very very short time. This is just absolutely crazy.
Deborah
Deborah
How long will you pay for cheating? the rest of your life (with him)
Brent
MB
there should not BE a price to be paid at all, IMHO.
you cheated. now - he has to EITHER accept the fact that you cheated, go with you to MC, and MOVE PAST THIS.
or
there is no relationship and I really don't see HOW you can even THINK of getting married.
What you are describing is very unhealthy.
I have heard that there are couples who can "get past" a spouse's infidelity - but it takes ALOT of PROFESSIONAL help, and ALOT of work, and maturity for BOTH sides.