how to make husband drop loser friend
Find a Conversation
how to make husband drop loser friend
| Sat, 05-26-2007 - 10:24am |
I love my husband but he has this loser friend that he refuses to drop the friendship. This friend is a mooch worst of all, a liar,untrustworthy, unreliable, irresponsible, and just an all around the biggest f**king moron I'd ever met. A few years ago, we trusted him to watch our small younger than 1 yr puppies and watch the house for a week while we were out of town. We paid him and went through everything that needed to be done while we were gone. We did not have a fenced in yard at the time, so whoever watched the dogs while they went potty, you had to be there watching and they needed to go out many times a day. We left the dogs in their kennel in the garage and left for the airport, called the friend and told him when he needed to be at the house and let the dogs out and he agreed. We called to check up on him sunday night because he did not answer the phone friday night, all day sat, and most of the day sunday. Well he was at another friend's house drinking and smoking pot and said he hadnt been there yet, so he left two small puppies in a small kennel for 72 hours without food/water or a bathroom break. His excuse for all this was that he forgot because he was too busy playing world of warcraft on his computer. Later on he would continue to agrue with me about the situation and say it was only 36 hours and that made it better. I cant forgive this person for the downright irresponsibility he did and yet my husband sees it as water under the bridge and basically trys to forgot it happened and move on he tells me. Well I'm sorry I can't do that.
This person is also the biggest mooch ever, he will take, take, take and never ever give anything back. This weekend for Memorial day, we want to drive a few hours to my in-laws and spend some time with them and this friend also has family in the same town and wants to bum a ride. I refuse to give him a ride because last time we let him, he said he would pay his way for the ride and he bought some gaterade and a few candy bars for us, bu f**king whoopee doo. And for reasons I can't explain that my husband thinks that was fair and thinks that since we are driving there anyways that it's ok to let him tag along for no charge. I know this friend asked to go because he cannot afford the gas on his own so he asks anyone else so that he doesn't have to fork out any cash to get out there and back.
How do I make my husband relize how toxic this friend of his is and how he just brings him down because his friend is such a loser and has such low expectations for life that it brings my husband down as well. My husband refuses to split the friendship saying he won't give up on him, but after everything why hasnt he come to this conclusion????????????
This person is also the biggest mooch ever, he will take, take, take and never ever give anything back. This weekend for Memorial day, we want to drive a few hours to my in-laws and spend some time with them and this friend also has family in the same town and wants to bum a ride. I refuse to give him a ride because last time we let him, he said he would pay his way for the ride and he bought some gaterade and a few candy bars for us, bu f**king whoopee doo. And for reasons I can't explain that my husband thinks that was fair and thinks that since we are driving there anyways that it's ok to let him tag along for no charge. I know this friend asked to go because he cannot afford the gas on his own so he asks anyone else so that he doesn't have to fork out any cash to get out there and back.
How do I make my husband relize how toxic this friend of his is and how he just brings him down because his friend is such a loser and has such low expectations for life that it brings my husband down as well. My husband refuses to split the friendship saying he won't give up on him, but after everything why hasnt he come to this conclusion????????????

First of all, you can't choose your husbands friends. As for the puppy thing, if you know this guy is an irresponsible loser why did YOU trust him with your puppies? You have an absolute obligation to protect the things you love and care for not hope for the best with someone you can't trust.
As for the monetary expectation for giving him a ride, I would never in a million years ask one of my friends for gas money or anything else to give them a ride somewhere I was going anyway. I agree with your husband on this one.
You can certainly set boundaries within your own home about what is acceptable. You should have refused to allow him to tend to the puppies and I agree with you - there is no excuse for his behvior whether it was 36 hours or 72 and I would be beyond pissed off and there's a good possibility he would no longer be welcome in my home. But your husband needs to respect your feelings and pursue the relationship without subjecting you to this guy.
Bottom line you have no say in his choice of friends but that doesn't mean you should have to put up with this one.
This is the only friend I wish he would sever ties to, I dont really have any problems with any of the others, but it is the insulting remarks, his attitude towards life and responsibility, and his overall personality that just drives me to the edge and wants to beat his ass with a baseball till I break it.
If your husband wants to maintain this relationship with a man who is so disrespectful you have every right to insist that it be maintained away from you. You should not have to subject yourself to his obnoxious behavior and your husband should respect your boundaries. We all have a right to choose the people who will be a part of our lives. Most therapists will tell you even if it's family you have the right to severe relationships if they're toxic to you.
So sorry about your puppies and I completely empathize with your frustration. What a jerk!