How to negotiate boundaries in a marriage
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|Tue, 06-28-2011 - 6:08am|
My longtime marriage seems to be ending over trivial and vague issues that built up over the years. I've been surprised to learn that situations where I thought I was standing my ground and being an equal partner could actually be seen as disregard for boundaries he set. He's still mad about something small that happened 16 years ago - and I thought we discussed and agreed on it. I think what happens is (a) he says what he wants, (b) I think there are good reasons to disregard what he wants or rationailize doing what I want instead, (c) in the face of my argument he gives in, (d) I think I got my way, and (e) he resents me for years because I don't respect his wishes. Help?! I was hoping to find a really good book that would help me understand why I was so bad at getting real agreement and what I should be doing instead with my possible stb-ex and future relationships. In addition to worrying about how I can do better, I also worry that it means I would always have to do what he says. Thanks for any advice!