How to save my marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
How to save my marriage
1
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:25pm
My husband of 3 years and I are going thru problems. We had a child 4 months ago and about 2 months after the baby was born I felt my husband very distance I thought it was me but now I know why..I would ask him if he was cheating on me and he would tell me when did he have the time because he worked over-nights and slept during the day come to find out he does have a relationship with another women which he denies that he does; however; I listen to a v-mail in which she called him "baby" and he still denies the whole thing. He tells me he is confused about the feelings he has towards me. He swears all he has with this lady is just a friend to talk to and listen to him although according to our cell phone bill he calls her more than he calls me and i am the one that has his child. I keep telling him that I would like for us to go get professional help and he does not want to. I think that will help both of us being that we are new parents. He has another child but he never talks to him because the kids mom took that privelage away from my husband now my husband is scared that I will do the same and I told him he can see him but only every other weekend and I think that is why he hasn't left the house because of the baby. This is my second marriage and I do not want to keep going through the same cycle whith men what should I do?
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:25am
I feel for you. You should not have to put up with that especially since you have a newborn baby to look after. You shouldn't have the extra stress that your husband is causing you. Why would he need "someone" (especially another girl) to talk to when he has you. A marriage is supposed to be about communication. It seems that he doesn't want your relationship to work since he doesn't want to go to counseling. I wouldn't put up with another woman calling my husband...not for one second. You have to put a stop to that immediately...and if he doesn't stop it, then you know who's more important to him and what you have to do after that. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:19pm

i'm sorry for this - even if your husband is not 'cheating' in the traditional sense - he is taking time, and effort away from his wife and family, and putting it into another woman. thats just wrong.


if he won't go with you to get help - then at least go on your own. make an appointment at a time that you know he is available, arrange for a baby sitter - and let him know. if he doesn't go with you - then you have a partial answer - but YOU go anyway.


good luck, and hugs to the baby