how should I explain...
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| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 10:16pm |
Let me start off by saying I am 24 and have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He was married for about 5 years before he met me, and the marriage had pretty much fell apart by the time we started dating. We became very close very quickly, he was nervous a lot of the times because he always said he shouldnt get into a serious relationship so quickly, he felt that he should date around.
The thing is, I dont see this as a 'serious' relationship. We dont live together, I have not had any children with him, we are not planning on getting marries anytime soon (although as many couples do we have done the "what if's") What this boils down to is that he is afraid of commitment (how cliche, I know)
Well, recently I had noticed him acting a little off, caught him in a few lies which I confronted him about and then became very defensive. I figured he was cheating, tried to ignore it as long as possible ad finally confronted him about that too. We had a long talk, which the main point of his being "we never agreed to be totally exclusive" I couldnt beleive he would say that after almost 3 years of dating. Luckily, he was not sleeping with anyone (which I actually believe, it was a long time before we even had sex...he gets kinda nervous)
Am I crazy to think that he should not be dating other women, even if its a one time only type of thing? Even if its only for dinner? It just doesnt feel right. I don't want to get marreis anytime soon, and I have made that clear to him so it's not like Im pissed because he hasnt proposed. I have a lot of thing in my own life that I need to get straightened out before I get amrried. But I do really love him and I can picture myself marrying him one day
Is this a big waste of my time? Should I trust him? He is a very good guy, has treated me perfectly (no lie, really a good guy!) so I guess everyone has to have a downfall right?
I just don't know if I'm being a sucker and I should move on or if he just needs a little space.

Well, if he's dating (even if there's no sex), it shows that he wants that time to "date around". After three years of being together this is not a good sign. When two people are in a happy, serious relationship, most of the time dating others is off limits. The larger question here is whether or not the two of you are on the same page? You are hoping and perhaps expecting that this relationship will turn to marriage. I wonder if he feels the same way? You need to find out. You have a right to know after three years what he has in mind for the future.
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