How to support him thru his divorce & baggage?
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|Thu, 01-05-2012 - 11:52am|
I met my current beau a few months ago. He had just returned from 2 years overseas in Iraq. At the time of his return, he helped his ex wife pack and up and move cross country. She basically wiped out his bank account and left him with nothing and 5 trips to a dumpster to clean up the townhouse she left in shambles. I was shocked. I saw with my own eyes that she spent thousands on shoes and home base business that went belly up. She had not worked the entire 12 years they were married. He is the sweetest man and he was basically left to start his life over, and out of the kindess of my own heart (and the fact that we were very much in love) I offered that he move in with me, only after a few weeks of dating. Sounds crazy, but somehow it felt right.
So far things have been wonderful between us, and there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t say I love you or is entirely appreciate of everything I do for him. I have already met his family and he mine. I never wanted to fall in love, leastly with a not yet divorced guy starting over, but the stars just fell into place for us. He has always been the breadwinner and it is hard for him to accept help from me. I have not asked him to pay any rent yet, but he helps out with groceries and bought me beautiful christmas gifts. I have been taken advantage of in the past, and don’t want to do it again. He has insisted to start helping me with rent (even though I am financially well of and was before I met him) but I know he is struggling trying to get the divorce out of the way, and bills that went unpaid for months from his ex who was supposed to be managing the money (he made 150K a year if you can believe that). So I am not sure what to do. I do not feel he is any kind of moocher, but there is always that fear that I do too much. I am also never married so dealing with his baggage has been trying, but he never really complains and is always reassuring when I get insecure about everything.