How to talk to boyfriend after taking time apart?
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|Fri, 05-10-2013 - 10:07pm|
My boyfriend and I had been going out for 3 months and we both believed it was wonderful. We connected right away. We're both very kind, sweet, caring people. We both also had bad relationships prior to meeting each other. He had a bad marriage and divorce. I had a boyfriend who didn't care about me and cheated on me. We were excited we found each other. He gave me love, attention, and affection that no one has before. He told me that I'm the sweetest woman he's ever met. There were times he said I was too nice.
One problem was that I am not as open with him as both of would like. He tells me how he feels about us and I feel the exact same way. But he is frustrated and says I keep him at a distance. I didn't think that I did. I had been out of work and feeling ashamed that I couldn't treat him to things and give him a special night out, like he has done for me. I would cook for him and I helped decorate his apartment and I was so happy to be able to give him something that was also a part of me. But that's not enough.
He had left on a business trip for 3 weeks and during that time apart I was thinking about our relationship and how I wanted us to grow stronger together as a couple. I was ready to open up to him because the one thing we lacked had been communciation. I wanted to be his best friend, not just his girlfriend.
When he returned we met for lunch and I was happy to see him again. During his time away he had thanked me for being supportive of him being away and said he owed me. But the day we met I thought we were going to catch up and spend a day together. Instead he tells me that he doesn't know where the relationship is going, that I don't talk to him, asked me if I knew who I was, said I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I was so hurt and emotional but all of it that I froze and couldn't respond. He said he hadn't been direct with me before because he knows I'm sweet and nice and I guess he didn't want to scare me. But if I was afraid of him I wouldn't have wanted to be with him He said for our relationship it would be good to take some time apart, for me to figure things out.
Well, that was a week ago and I asked him to meet me for dinner and to talk. I know what I want to say in terms of my heart and how I feel about him. Because it seemed to me that he felt I wasn't making myself emotionally available to him. In my own way I was doing things for him but I know now that words get more notice than gestures sometimes. I'm nervous I'll say the wrong things to him when we meet.