How to win her back...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2007
How to win her back...
45
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 6:17pm
I have been going out with this woman for 5 years. However before our break up which was about couple of months ago, we were having so troubles. Actually I was making troubles up in order to give myself a little freedom. In the end I ended up cheating on her with a couple of girls, but I did not have sex with anyone else. It was just flirting and kissing. She found out and completely lost it. Although we did speak for a while after the break up as if we were still going out but I guess that was just because it was fresh and also because she probably didn't believe it right away. But as time went by she spoke to me less and less and now she doesn't want to talk to me. I know she still loves me and that she is so hurt and mostly betrayed and feels very played. But the truth is I didn't play her and I love her more than anything in this world. I explained to her that I regret everything and wish it never happened many times. I tell her I love her over and over again, and I even brought her flowers a few times. People give advice that I should give her space and not talk to her but they also say that when the girl breaks up with the man because of other reasons and that the man can't act so desperate. But I find that this is different because I did something wrong and I caused this so all I feel is that I have the responsibility to make things better and excuse myself as much as I can. I don't know if this is healthy or right thing to do to get her back. I want to marry this woman and I know it sounds cliche but I have fallen so much more in love with her after everything that happened, and I have told her that and she freaks out thinking I never loved her in the first place. I want this woman to be my wife and I want o raise a family with this woman. Please help shed some light on this situation. I don't know the steps I have to take to win back her heart and her trust. Thank you and greatly appreciated...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 7:16am

Francesco


Just stumbled on your posts, although I may be late, I want to tell you that as a guy going thru the same thing last year- I can relate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:48am

"wow this is a support group..."


Francesco, this ISN'T a support board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:53am

Hurtinguy, it sounds to me as if you're blaming this situation on your ex-girlfriend's insecurities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 10:07am

geoteo

I am not blaming anything on my ex gf. I take full responsibility for why this ended and I understand that she can't trust me-it is totally my doing. I was simply trying to state to the OP that although we thought we had worked thru the trust issue, it was just being supressed. Now that I've had weeks to process what has happened, I think her feelings for me were never the same but she gave us another chance because I persisted. He is persuing her and if she isn't given time to sort thru her feelings, the same is likely to happen

The last thing I can do is blame any of this on her. Its totally my fault and if I could take it all back, I would. I have learned a very hard lesson and now I have to learn how to move on

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 2:59pm
Hi, I just want to say that I am in the same position you are. I betrayed my bf of 4 years and now he doesn't want to have anything to do w/ me. I love him more than anything else...I made a huge mistake and if I could take it back i would...i want to marry him..we've talked about it..and now i blew it. I know he still loves me b/c the only time he does text message me is teling me how much he hurts and what I did to him. If he didn't love me, he would just move on. But anyway, for your problem, I will also say that yes, he has cheated on me before..but it was just a kiss whereas i did more...but if your girl is anything like me when he cheated on me, i wanted him to bombard me w/ flowers and i wanted him to beg at my feet...so that i could know that he was really sorry...good luck

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