Hubby Envious of My job Success
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Hubby Envious of My job Success
| Thu, 01-22-2004 - 4:28pm |
Dh has still been out of a job a year the end of this month. Some leads, but so far nothing. I am trying to be respectful and empathetic, but even my patience can be worn thin. I freelance write, and got some new assignments the other day and had a nice lunch with one of my editors. Well, dh got on his "high horse" and said, "What do you want me to be, THRILLED about this? How would YOU feel if you were out of a job almost a year and I came home with job news? And YOU'RE not even SUPPOSED to be working, like I am! How does your jobs help ME?" Well, okay, I know his ego is hurt, which is understandable, and I try to keep things on my end brief and succinct when telling him about my jobs. But, on the other hand, am I supposed to NOT be happy that I am getting jobs? Isn't it GOOD when his wife is happy, because at least then, in addition to bringing in some extra money for us, (which he claims "doesn't matter" because it takes about a month for me to be paid, and my projects are spaced apart. GREAT LOGIC!!?? LOL)it makes the house less unhappy? Oh, when we first married and he HAD a decent paying job, in ADDITION to the investment properties we own which have been sustaining us now (hence we are okay moneywise), he was ON MY BACK about getting a job. Now, the tide has turned. Yes, I love writing, and, more than the money, really like what I do and whom I do projects for. How do I respond to this? Yes, I told him that my jobs don't help him get a job (although I mentioned to a few people I work with that if they come across anything in his field to please let me know, so I do try and help him network) and I DO understand that he is not feeling great, but at least acknowledge my successes. I'm not trying to be selfish, but what happened to his words of "Through thick and thin, we are one?" meaning what is good for one is good for the other partner?

shluffie - you have been on and off here for a while. i don't mean to disrespect you or anything -and i know this is not what you asked -
Its hard to feel proud of your accomplishments when your spouse wont even recognize it or give you the praise you deserve. Whether it is because he is embarrassed that he isnt able to provide for you the way he wants or planned, or just is envious of your accomplishments, its rude and selfish. What it also is is hard to see these things when his own failure is hanging above his head.
I dont think that you should slide on sharing your triumohs, but maybe try to give him the encouragement he needs to get out there and try harder for him\self.This will be no easy task, but its all about supporting each other...
Good luck and congratulations,