Hurting lots.... need advice and such
Find a Conversation
Hurting lots.... need advice and such
| Thu, 09-09-2004 - 12:05am |
I need advice about my bf.... we've been together for 4 years (we're both 19yrs. old....I'm about to turn 20) and we're both in school. We've had a pretty good relationship for the most part with the exception of my parents who can't stand him even though he's a good guy, a Christian, makes good grades, etc. Anyways.... for the past year he's been really difficult. Starting in Oct. of last year he wanted to be able to hang out with this one girl alone and I being the stupid person I am let him. I was so mad and unhappy the entire time though. So we eventually got through that and supposedly never fooled around with her and just hung out with her. Then the other day, while he was outside helping his dad I was hanging in his room waiting. I grabbed his digital camera to see if he had saved some of my old pics I had taken on their for our friend in Iraq and to my horror I found a TON of pics of him with his arms around all these chics he had met while he was on his fam vacation in destin. I was so mad. I wanted to storm out bawling but didn't so I didn't look stupid in front of his folks. His explaination for it was he wanted to enjoy himself and that he didn't do anything and that they meant nothing. He also had the nrve to say "Oh well they wnated to take the pics I didn't" That was the biggest load of BS I had ever heard in my life. I am still pissed at him. We have been togthere for 4 years, he sould know better than to do crap like that. Guys don't do that that are in relationships even though he thinks they do. He has also been lying to me about talking to these certain girls that I don't like because their just not the ppl he needs to be around. I'm not controlling I just don't think it's right for him to do that, I don't know how I am going to be able to trust him....ever. I don't mind him talking to other girls and stuff but not lying to me about it and taking pics of him with a buncha girls in their bikinis. I could REALLY use some encouragement and advice right about now. If anyone could help me out I would appreciate it soooo much. Thanks! =)

First, he lied to you about talking to these girls, in my experience where theres one lie there are 2 and 3 and so on. Second, what were his exact words when you confronted him about the pictures of girls? You said he said "nothing we did meant anything." That could mean a lot of things. 1. "We just said hello and took a picture" or "we had sex, but since i love her it didn't mean anything" I know it sounds dramatic, and he probably didn't sleep with them, but the guys I dated, when they said nothing they did meant anything, that usually meant they made out but since they "loved" me oh so much it wasn't a big deal. That's BS it is a big deal, meaning something....not meaning something doesn't mean he didn't do anything. I'm not saying he did, but it's possible.
It doesn't sound like he's respecting you and I don't think he's mature enough to realize how shady and stupid he's being. I don't think you are being controlling. I agree with you being uptight about him hanging out with some chick alone. I mean, why did they have to be alone? Why couldn't his friends be there, or you be there?
Take a step back, figure out what you want in a guy. Do you want a guy that disrespects you and treats you like crap but you stay together because YOU are a good girlfriend and love him? or do you want someone who is faithfull, not shady, truthful, respectful and that makes you happy? You deserve love girl!
He's younger, younger than you emotionally and will want to see what else is out there, and want to experiment with life. You may want to also, but healing will be first on your list if this relationship doesn't work out.
My best to you.
Carrie
You two were sooooo young when you started dating. It sounds as if you both need some time apart to see what else it out there. Im not saying that he doesnt care, or that you dont for that matter, but its about making sure you know what the world has to offer and discovering who you are as an individual.
AS for those vacation gurls.......he very may very well have not wanted them, fooled around with them, or been attracted to them. But, the fact that they payed attention to him, was new to him and exciting. You both need to experience this before you will ever be happy being with him the rest of your life.
If you really care, then take some time apart. 10 years from now, ou dont want to be with him, but always wondering what you missed out on because you were tied down.