Husband choosing in-laws and not me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2011
Husband choosing in-laws and not me
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 3:41pm

My husband and I just moved from out of state to the where his parents live. We have been married for 11 years. His parents are divorced and had married subsequently with different spouses, but both are currently single. His dad is sick with cancer and we moved into his house temporarily. My husband has a job and I am looking for one but have not been able to find one yet. His siblings are fighting all the time over who should be doing this or that for his dad, but no one does anything. They feel that because my husband has been living here, he should deal with everything right now. Problem is that since I don't have a job yet, I end up dealing with a quite a bit of stuff pertaining to this sick man that I hardly know. It is depressing, and I have asked my husband to please move out of here. His mother sticks her nose into every issue, even the one related to her ex-husband, and gives her expert opinion all the time. She is a very negative person, she's always sick with something, and constantly points out the negative side of every step anyone wants to take. She is on the phone all the time with my sister in law talking behind the back of everyone else. No woman or man is good enough for her siblings. My sister in law talks to my husband on the phone all the time, like 7 times a day (this also happened when we were living out of state) and she has gotten already a job for my husband with her husband doing something he has never done. Consequently, my husband has given up trying to do what he said he was going to try to do before we moved here. My husband has stated that he wants to stay with his dad, and that will not change. So, he has made a choice. I am debating on whether to move to a shelter temporarily... I am so emotionally broken and feel so lonely...

Avatar for tobermory
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2001
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 5:10pm

There is an in-laws board here at iVillage that might better meet your needs, but it is a good sign that you understand that your problem is not with your in-laws but with your husband. Post over there, I am sure they will have a lot of good advice for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 10:08pm
I doubt he is ' choosing ' them. He is trying to be there for his dying dad. The interference from his mother and sister is over board but I guess in his desire to be there for dad , he is either ignoring them or cant see that they are taking advantage of the situation.
Have you talked to your husband? What did he say?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 12:38am

Why did you move back to where his parents were?