Husband doesn't seem interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Husband doesn't seem interested
4
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 11:30pm
Hello. I'm new to these boards. I have been married to my dh for 14 years. We have two boys, 5 and 6 years old. My friends talk about their husbands wanting sex all the time. My and husband and I have sex maybe once or twice a month. He was asking for oral sex contantly, but I finally just told him no more, since we arent' having regular sex more. He works very strange hours, and possibly suffers from a bit of depression. I have told him exactly how I feel, but still not much of a response. He's not having an affair, I've asked point blank. I've lost nearly 30 pounds to hopefully catch his eye again, but he's not changed. Barb
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 1:26am
Sleep deprivation and depression can both affect your libido. However, the part that concerns me is that he was asking for oral, but he was refusing intercourse. That is not a libido problem. Is there more going on? Is he viewing a lot of porn? Does he masturbate a lot?
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I am unable ot give legal or medical advice. My opinions are based on my experiences and my personal research.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 11:07am
Hi Barb, I'm sorry that you and your dh are having this problem. Have you asked him why he only wants oral sex? Not if he's having an affair. Honestly, if he was, he wouldn't tell you yes. I'm coming from the position of when my x dh was cheating he lied, lied lied....made sure he was sincere with his "No I'd never do that to you." I'm happy to see you are taking care of yourself......losing 30 lbs is fabulous.....do it for you though..we can't change others..just us.....best of luck to you...

~Karen
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 3:04pm
Thankyou for your reply. I have asked about the oral, but he says that its not all he wants, but before I started refusing he asked for it all the time and rarely initiated sex. Now we're down to a couple times a month. I don't really think he is having an affair, but it hurts my feelings that he's so not interested. I lost all the wieght really for both he and myself. But it would be wonderful if my dh noticed a bit more. Barb
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 5:44pm

Welcome to the board barbaronna,


Why can't you start with oral and then change to sex? Would this be okay for you? Would he be okay with this?

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