husband gone for hunting season
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husband gone for hunting season
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 5:46pm |
I need some advice. My husband and I are for the most part happy together. We have been together for 3 years and during this time, the one thing we fight about is hunting. He hunts as much as he possibly can. During the 5 month hunting season, he would like to hunt every Saturday and Sunday, any holidays and a few vacation days as well. To get him to take a weekend off is impossible. His idea of compromising on this is to take a hunting break day or two every month, getting him to do that is not easy. We have been working on remodeling our house for the last two years. I work on that alone during the season. He claims that I am exaggerating and it is not that bad. He does return home around noon some days, but than he cleans; any birds he shoot, his dog and himself, and then sometimes he takes a nap. He gets up before 5am so naturally he is tired and often he ends up catching up on sleep during the week by going to bed early.
We spend all of our time together, and have very few friends. I had a busy social life before we started dating, but my husband doesn't like to go out. If I ever went out without him, he would call my cell phone constantly, telling me that he missed me and I would end up leaving early and finally stopped going out all together. I gave up my social life and my friends.
He is a well educated and successful person. He has a great sense of humor. I am happier with him, than I ever have been. But this issue continues to be a problem. We have been talking about starting a family and have been trying to get pregnant. Now the hunting season has started again and I am starting to think that having children is not such a good idea. I don't think he would hunt less if we had kids, and thus I don't think we would make a very happy family. I come from a very close family. His parents are divorced and he doesn't have a very good relationship with his dad, because he was to self-absorbed and did some rotten things, when they were young.
I used think that he would slow down if we had kids, but I am starting to doubt it. My parents are coming to visit from Europe and my husband is going to be gone one weekend on a hunting/ camping trip with his buddies while they are here. I have asked him to cancel the trip, but he refuses. Am I crazy for giving up having children or thinking that I have to give up children?
We spend all of our time together, and have very few friends. I had a busy social life before we started dating, but my husband doesn't like to go out. If I ever went out without him, he would call my cell phone constantly, telling me that he missed me and I would end up leaving early and finally stopped going out all together. I gave up my social life and my friends.
He is a well educated and successful person. He has a great sense of humor. I am happier with him, than I ever have been. But this issue continues to be a problem. We have been talking about starting a family and have been trying to get pregnant. Now the hunting season has started again and I am starting to think that having children is not such a good idea. I don't think he would hunt less if we had kids, and thus I don't think we would make a very happy family. I come from a very close family. His parents are divorced and he doesn't have a very good relationship with his dad, because he was to self-absorbed and did some rotten things, when they were young.
I used think that he would slow down if we had kids, but I am starting to doubt it. My parents are coming to visit from Europe and my husband is going to be gone one weekend on a hunting/ camping trip with his buddies while they are here. I have asked him to cancel the trip, but he refuses. Am I crazy for giving up having children or thinking that I have to give up children?

It's just a thought, but what would happen if YOU joined him? It would probably shock him to see you toting a gun and 'bagging a bird or 2?"
Pianoguy thinks the bigger issue is the fact that you're a social person and your husband is a loner! And unless there's some form of compromise (from each of you)...somebody is going to become VERY ANGRY!
If your husband feels that the 'great outdoors' is where he's happiest...then you have to figure out where YOU are happiest! Go out and be social...but turn off your cell phone! Having children might consume a lot of your free time---but---if your husband has a preference for "killing critters" instead of raising children, you're going to be just as mad at him as you are now.
With Mom and Dad, I'd set up a bunch of activities the 3 of you can do together. If your husband doesn't want to participate...LEAVE HIM BEHIND....and DON'T LEAVE ANY DINNER ON THE STOVE FOR HIM TO HEAT UP!
Pianoguy
Herein lies part of the problem:
I gave up my social life and my friends.
He's doing what he wants, why aren't you?
Carrie