Husband had a stroke

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Husband had a stroke
13
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:25pm
My husband of 21 years had a massive stroke a year+ ago and is currently living in an assisted care home. Long story--after his stroke I got evicted with

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:46pm

What do your vows say???? For better or worse and I can say that this is worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:55pm

Welcome to the board bgail,


I'd say you have a lot to vent about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 3:34pm

Hi Kiki


I guess I didn't make myself very clear. Our marriage started out with him lying to me at the very beginning. He said his wife died, he had money in the bank and he owned his house. Shortly after we got married his house went into foreclosure and we had to move out. He had no money in the bank, just $50 in a margarine tub in the refrigerator. The next year we got a call from his son who told us that his mom (husband's X)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 3:50pm

Welcome to the board Brenda,


I don't blame you for not loving him anymore and not wanting to be with him after all he has done to you. I think the timing would have been better if you would have left him before the stroke because now to people who don't know the whole story it just makes you look like a mean, heartless woman.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 3:57pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 4:03pm

Actually, it really doesn't matter what other people think of timing and whatnot, they weren't there when you stuck by him, homeless and with $50 in a margarine tub.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 4:21pm
I can understand why you wouldn't want to spend the money on a divorce, especially while living on a limited income.





iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 4:25pm
If we lived as husband and wife, all I would be is his caregiver. Our husband/wife status ended Aug. 20. 2006 when he had his stroke. Our 20th anniversary was Aug. 16 and when I gave him a card that day he stood there and said, "it's not our anniversary" and I told him it was and that I wasn't upset that he forgot it but this was one anniversary that he would never forget. How wrong I was--it's one I will never forget. He didn't know who I was until six weeks after his stroke and I was beside him almost everyday. He would insist he wasn't married. All he remembered was his cousin Jim. It seems that he was having "mini strokes" for a couple weeks before the big one hit. He was acting strangely but I clocked it up to him drinking too much. Then he started chocking on his food and had a lot of saliva. That was all warning signs of a stroke but I didn't have a clue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 4:55pm
I understand your position and would also like to add my support. I can see why you don't want to get a divorce... Not only the lawyer fees but also he could end up extracting money from you. It hurts to see someone stay in a marriage that was built in a lie, but I can empathize with what you're going through. I'm sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 5:24pm

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am feeling better about myself right now to know that other people care so much about a stranger. I have had a lot of trouble sleeping the past year.


I have tried to talk to my father-in-law about my husband but all he will say is that short men tend to lie to try to build themselves up in other people's eyes. Of course he will defend his son!! My father-in-law had a stroke about ten years ago and

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