Husband looking for other women?
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| Wed, 08-11-2004 - 10:52am |
Two weeks ago, out of nowhere, my husband told me he wanted a divorce, mainly because we had "grown apart", we were on "different paths", that type of general nonsense, not really being specific. He changed his mind, and since then, he's been sweeter and more romantic than he's ever been.
Yesterday, he accidentally left his computer on, which is password protected, so I usually can't get onto it. I decided to look through his internet history, and discovered that he had been reading personal ads as recently as last week. I changed his password in order to access his Yahoo account, and found that he was signed up with Yahoo Personals, and was having "his matches" sent to his email address. He claims that he signed up a year ago when we were considering divorce, and never bothered unsubscribing.
Should I believe him? When he told me that he wanted a divorce a couple of weeks ago, he admitted that he had taken his wedding ring off over a week earlier. I'm terrified that he's been on the prowl for some time now, and there's no way for me to find out when he signed up for the personals. Please help.

This certainly does not sound good, as he told you very recently he wanted to end the relatinship and then changed his mind abruptly. It seems as if he is experiencing quite a bit of confusion and ambivalence about your relationship. Whenever he joined, whatever he told you, it is never appropriate for a married man to be online looking for someone else and receiving emails from other women. This is basically dishonest. If there is a problem in the marriage, the best way is to face it, try to honestly work it out together, and then if both decide the marrige is over, that is the time to seek someone else.
I suggest you seek professional help with this situation (either personal counselling on how to handle things) or if he is willing couple therapy would be excellent. It seems as though you both need a trained professional to sort out what's going on, help with clear, honest communication, and help you both decide what's best for all concerned.
Best wishes.
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I am new to the this message board as well. I don't know if I should be adding anything to this but I have had experience with both a husband on the personals and the personals myself. My husband used to "brouse" the personals as well.I do know the matches are sent automatticly (sorry poor speller) but all you have to do is click a button and they stop. So he may have just overlooked them. You don't have to do anything they just come to you. I guess my question is was he just looking or is he a member. Membership requires payment/subscription. If he is paying monthly then it may be diffrent. It has been my experience that there isn't a lot of communication unless there is a subscription. Also if you have his yahoo password then you also have his password to his singles account. The matches come from joining (not subscribing) but is he actively looking I guess is my question? You have to go to the site to look but not to get the automatic matches. Good luck and best wishes.