Husband retired now

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Husband retired now
3
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 12:55pm

My husband retired after 25 years as an airline pilot. We've been married for 13 1/2 years and I have enjoyed my freedom while he was gone. To make matters worse, he decided he wanted to come work with me. I am in sales and work from home. Needless to say, this whole situation is driving me pure bonkers. I am depressed and emotional. I have talked with him on several occasions, but he just does not get it. What do I do? I don't want to leave my job. I'm good at it and he's not. Basically, he wants me to do all the work and he reap the rewards. I can see this is going to ruin our marriage.

One more detail, there is 18 years difference in our ages. He will be 59 in Sept. and I will be 41 this month. I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not. I have seen a counselor and he thinks my husband is substituting dependence for love and I agree with him.

Also, I believe strongly that a personal life should be seperate from a professional life. This has added extra stress since we are "working together".

Any advice on how to retain any bit of sanity I may have left?

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 2:27pm

Welcome to the board mistygirl2007,


Sounds like you are missing your "me" time, which everyone needs. Is there any way you can get out of the house more or have a seperate office at home away from your husband? Or if nothing else, just tell him that it isn't working and you can't work together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 2:35pm
There is a possibility of an officer outside of the home. I think I am very angry at him about all of this. I've lost all of my independence, control and solitude. Today he's gone out in our boat and I am very happy for him to, just to get out of my hair. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he will not see what I need at this point. The next conversation will be about him doing something other than working with me.
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 2:43pm

I can't imagine working closely with my husband.

Maybe you should suggest that he find another job and explore the type of job that he may like. You can also calmly talk to him about how you are feeling and what a great accomplishment it is for you to have the business to yourself. Tell him that your number one priority in life is a great marriage and you don't want to risk ruining it.

If he is interesting in volunteering his time go to http://volunteermatch.org




Edited 8/1/2007 2:43 pm ET by ciao__gina