husbands lack of emotion

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
husbands lack of emotion
3
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 1:20pm
We have been married for almost 18 years with thre teenage boys. Life is good on the outside but dead on the inside. I cannot get my husband to communicate his feelings to me. He will not tell me that he cares or loves me without some confrontation. I just want him to talk. I tell him how important he is to me and how much he matters in my life. How much I love him and am proud of him. I have tried talking softly and not confronting him. Still not response. I've tried just discussing this with him, like a business meeting. Still no response. I have tried telling him what I need to here. He just won't tell me how he feels. I know he cares, I know he loves me, I know he is not cheating. But he won't let me in He won't be the other half in a couple. What do I do..................
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 2:29pm

Hi roxydaisey and welcome to the board,


Consider reading the book Five Love Language, by Gary Chapman. It can maybe shed some light on the diffenent love languages you both speak.




iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 9:07pm

Hi Roxydaisey.

I agree with the book suggestion. While I haven't read it, I know what it's about and think it's a wise choice.

I should say that I'm totally with you in wanting a partner who expresses love. However, as you are already married with teenage kids, leaving is not a great option for you. I'd be wanting to work to understand your differences. But also accepting that this is who he is and not trying to change him. As you've already figured out, you can't change him even if you try.

When working to understand your differences, the main thing will be learning to understand that there's far more to being the other half of a couple than verbally expressing love.

For example, some of the ways my husband shows his love is by not going out drinking with the boys all the time. And by not abandoning us to go and play/watch soccer all the time. By supporting us financially and emotionally. He went to support our daughter at her first Irish Dance concert despite the fact that he hates Irish Dance. And he shows interest in my scrapbooking despite it not being a personal interest of his.

do you catch my drift?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 12:17pm

he will never change....the real question is what are you going to do about it now that you know you are with someone who will never be able to meet your needs?

your spirt deserves to live, not die a slow death.