I am doing it again
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| Sun, 05-02-2004 - 2:46pm |
I know my faults and I know it is not right, but I just cannot turn it around. I am hurt right now, because I do not want to loose him. He is too upset right now to talk to me and like I said I do not blame him. I hope deep in my heart he is going to call me and I will deeply try to change. But do I really want too, do I want to go into a relationship where I have to watch what I am saying. It is always the same, I mess it up and than I hope that they call back. Now this one, I am sure he is history.
I am so tired of myself and the hurt feelings I have. I want to change so bad but it is so hard by myself. He was a nice guy and I messed it up like so many times before. Now I am back in my eggshell, trying to avoid everyone just to get over the pain and it is hard to get out.
Has anyone a good book about how to change and be normal. Maybe I should take Prozac :-)
Thank's for reading and thank's for any advise you can give.
HH

As far as relationships, if you can find someone who can accept you with your idiosyncrasies, great, but if not, try not to let it effect your self-worth. People have all sorts of motives for why they treat other people the way they do and it may have nothing to do with who you really are. I will tell you that I've experienced a person who was pushy about getting information and I eventually concluded he was just selfish all the way around. However, that's not universal. You may have other reasons for why you do what you do, but it's always good to consider others' feelings also. Best wishes.
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Carrie