I am so angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2005
I am so angry
2
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 12:23pm
So history. I am a 33 year old woman (twins-7 months old, 14 year old daughter, and married to husband for 4 years, together 8). My husband is a very smart man, but incredibly selfish. Just recently he has decided to quit his job, and go into business with a woman. Her husband will be helping out, and one of my husband's collegues will also be going in. I have a horrible feeling about this. I attempted to express this to him, but to no avail. I have a horrible feeling about all of it. The fact that she is a woman is an issue, unfortunately. It wasn't, until I asked him during one of our many discussions about it, whether or not she was pretty. His response, silence. And then, "Well, she is not unattractive." We fought over that. I could not determine why the hell he would jeapordize our financial security for this type of venture. He is incredibly smart and ambitious. I met her and her husband, although I don't find her attractive. My husband may. You know commonality? Similar interests. All of that crap. Traveling? She and her husband seem to be intellegent, but I do not know them from Adam. There are soooo many unknowns. I have been reading their emails as it pertains to my life as well. I feel like I have fallen of the deep end. I have explained all fo this to him, but he tells me that I am behaving irrationally. He says this is no different that working with women in the office. I highly disagree. Initially I asked him not to do this, but ultimately I felt guilty and told him to do what he thought was right. I told him I would not be able to handle it for so many reasons. I told him the money was not important. I liked our lives the way they were. After work was family time. Now after work, he works on the computer for hours. Not every night, but enough that it bothers me. He and this woman email each other constantly. Talk on the phone. I told my husband to keep everything appropriate, etc. He accused me of thinking he was stupid. This just feels so bad. I feel betrayed and disregarded as he chose to do this knowing how I felt, knowing that it could probably cause some major problems. I need some insight as I don't know if I can handle all of the reprecusions of this huge decision. He tells me that he is going to provide our family with everything we need and want, that I need to trust him. I am scared to death and feel depressed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: tb112173
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 8:19am

Hi tb.

I saw your identical post on Problem Solving for Couples. And I also saw the links the CL had placed relating to your history of domestic abuse.

Please understand that any posters replying to this post will not have correct context to your question. They will not know your husband's long history of disregarding you etc etc. You will probably get far more accurate advice on the board which has full knowledge of your story.

good luck,
Aisha.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
In reply to: tb112173
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 3:24pm
Has you husband been abusing you? Does he have a history of cheating on you?