i am so confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
i am so confused
4
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 2:00pm

I have been married for over 20 years. Married young at age 16. Dh is the only man i have ever had sex with. Two and a half years ago dh got diagnosed with Conjestive Heart Failure. He is doing fine but is on lots of meds that affect his libedo. Prior to last week we hadn't been intimate for 2.5 years which was fine with us. Sex has never been high on our list of priorities.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:59am

Welcome to the board ilovelilybugs,


The attention from this old

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:20pm

I think you are just looking for better and greener grass. Your husband got sick, he didn't go and cheat on you with another woman. He is still aviable to you in emotional way, right?

It is okay to feel attracted to other people, haha i posted something about that a while back. I was having wondering eyes. As long as it is fantasy, It's okay. Like you said, it even bring out a spark between you and your dh.

If I were you I think about everything before doing anything I regret. Family, husband of 20yrs who stick with you think and thin, kids, trust and love and then, a guy you made out with when you were a kid...?

...You probably thinking you didn't really experienced a lot in dating, but most reason for people to date is to find that perfect someone. In this case, I think you have found one, just having a glitch right now.

this is just my 2cents,

ukia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 1:39pm
Those emotions that you feel coming back are from 20+ years ago, when you were a kid! They are not worth indulging and ruining your family life. I'm sorry your husband has been ill and been unable to perform. It's tough, but you made the commitment to him and you have to tough it out with him. You'll need to cut ties to this old friend for the sake of your family.


Edited 9/17/2007 1:40 pm ET by bella_valentina
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 3:55pm

well, that's just it. I don't even think we are connecting on an emotional level anymore. I feel like we have been so busy making a good life for us and our kids that we don't have a life anymore. We don't go out. We don't even talk that much but yet dh can come in from work and talk to a friend for hours on the phone but it's like we don't have anything to talk about.