I am so mad at myself.....
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I am so mad at myself.....
| Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:03am |
well i have got to have the most confusing relationship on the planet...anyway my boyfriend says he loves me were moving in together in 2 months and we plan to get married but i am still confused about where i stand in his life. i ask straight forward questions and get straight forward answers...so why then am i still confused about how he feels about me? am i just being stubborn and not hearing what he's saying? i could just kick myself because i think i'm starting to annoy him...please give me some advice to stop my acting like this....

My advice to you would be to stop asking your guy these questions head on. Men hate these types of discussions, and will tell you anything you want to hear, quickly, to get out of having a long dragged out painful discussion.
You will have to find your answers another way. There is an article on this website about teh signs that he really loves you, and you are a priority in his life. If that does not suffice, then make up your own little tests, and see how your fiance responds.
Your very smart to be listening to your instincts. I am so mad in marrying my first husband. He gave me a bunch of lipservice, when in reality, my instincts told me the opposite. When we actually did get married, and I found out we had different goals, I sighted those conversations, and he did not have a clue what i was talking about. That is because he did one of thoses"yeah, yeah, yeah, " kind of things, and just did not want to discuss.
Do not worry, most men are like that. But you do need to be true to yourself, and get this figured out until you are satisfied.
If I were you, I would look at his actions, and non verbal cues. I believe there is an article on this website that addresses this very issue, it is called something like, " the signs that he loves you," etc
Your instincts are probably right, and you are correct to not take things at face value. Marriage is a huge step, and just listening to lip service is not going to cut it.
I am angry at myself for marrying my first husband. I did just like you did, directly asked him things, to make sure, we were on the same plane. I was like you, and I had my doubts, but I did not listen to my instincts and went ahead an married him anyway. When I found out in actuality, we had different goals, I was really upset. When I sighted our conversations, I realized he did not have a clue, and was actually doing the "yeah, yeah, yeah" thing to me just to get the conversations over with. Guys hate it when ask them these types of questions.
If the suggestions in the article do not cut it, make up your own tests for your fiance, and see if he passes them or not. You will be so glad you were true to yourself, and your feelings.
My best to you.
Carrie