I am so torn
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| Wed, 01-21-2004 - 2:35pm |
well then in sept we agred to work things out. well he said he had cut off unwork related contact wtih this girl. (they work together) well . i found two love letters that month and also whent eh phone bill came in the beggining of oct i found he was still talking to her 4/5 times a day..
so he moved out oct 1. he was certin he wanted a divorce I was devestated. Well at the same time I became close friends with my daugthers friends father (he is divorced and full custody of his 3 children) well as far as me and my husband were concerned we were definatly divorcing as soon as our bankrupcy was over (march 04) well me and this other guy became close and now we are crazy about each other. he is the perfect person and we are like soulmates.
But my dillema lies in that around thanksgiving my ex and his girl stopped talking "as much" b/c she too was married and some people found out about them. and then he foudn out about me and my friend all of a sudden he swears hes changed and wants me back. i stuck to my guns all through nov/dec that no we were getting a divorce.
then last week for no reason i started feeling like i'm making a mistake i do love him, the kids love him (4 years old , 7months) and i am looking so forward to our future wer eabout to buy a house, i can be a stay at home mom. but i'm so torn because i feel if i go back to him theres a great chance that he'll leave me again becasue he has so many times and even though he swears hes learned his lesson etc. also i care so much about this other guy and he about me i'm so conflicted. i dont knwo wha tto do? any ideas

How have you two changed proactively and positively to make a difference *this time*? He swears it will work but hasn't he done that before?
IF you take him back you are sending him a strong message that he can do anything and get away with it even lying and cheating. You will always take him back.
Issue #2 Jumping into another relationship is not going to do you or your kids any good either. They need some real stability and your attention for a long time.
Edited 1/21/2004 3:11:32 PM ET by ciao_gina
No one should have to live that way. Personally I would move forward and NEVER let him come back, not even for the children. JMO, chances are the marriage will never work after everything you have both been through.