I am tired, don't know how much more
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| Sun, 09-07-2008 - 12:16pm |
I can take,
My story starts in 1999 my Husband and I met we got along great, He was my everything He had just got out of a relationship with his wife and they broke up when he was 14 months old. I met this man and I tell you my heart swooned. We did have some issues where my Husband did not want to get married again and he left me in March of 2001. He dated other women during this time but ultimatly decided I was the one for him, In Feb 2002 we got back together for ever at that point. LEt me tell you about the great man I had:
~ he helped me whenever help was needed
~ he was so nice, I had never met anyone like him
~ he got my car doors the door before we walked into place
~ We were something in bed, We could go all night long
~ he took time to make me feel loved
~ he bought me flowers and cards for no reason at all
~ he was never a yeller or a cusser at me anyway!!
~ he use to refer to himself as the man Shania Twain is decribing in her song anyman of mine.
~ He used to just come and hug me out of the blue or kiss me, and say I love youuuu
~ I used to feel loved and now I just feel spent.
Well we got married in March of 2004 we have 2 children of our own Now and my husband is a changed man, In the meantime I quit my job as a office manager his request to become a stay at home mom in September of last year I love staying home with my children I am glad that I am able to do this, What I am not glad of is over the last 9 years my husband has cha nged into a man I know longer fell in love with let me tell you about the man I am living with and married too, He works from 7:30 to 5 but he is a work a holic so we usually see him about 7pm.
~ He helps none, he feels that all he needs to do is go to work to provide money
~ He comes home to sit in his chair or on his bed
~ He eats dinner
~ House work is womans work, He does not feel that he should lift his hand any
~ He pays more attention to his feet then he does me..LoL
~ When I tell him I need A B and C he tells me this big boy ain't changing
~ He has not got a car door in I could not imagine how long
~ He doesn't bring much to this house anymore.
When we discussed all this last night, I told him you know if its money you bring to this relationship and you think that is all we need then I tell you what we can divorce go our separate ways and you can provide with money to us and I can find somebody else to meet my emontial and mental needs and you can still be providing with your money that you think is the only thing you need to do!!
I get tired I have been with the kids all day, when he comes home I am tired of running after the 5 and 2 year old then when our 10 year old is here the 5 year old and him fight like cats and dogs, But when hubby comes home he does not help with the kids he will correct them but he does not do bedtime routine, he hugs and puts them to bed but nothing else.
He would not dream of helping pick up around here at all, he would just step over a kids toy instead of putting it away. He does not help with dishes, He just says housework is womans work and that is it, says I am a stayat home mom its my job well when I worked full time just like you, you did not help then either.
I would say about 2 years ago everything started going down hill, I think he started calling me names at that point and yelling at me, gradually over time the door opening stopped and the hugs and kisses, Now I only get kissed and hugged on his intiation in the bed when hankie pankie about to happen, I get hugs and kisses other times but I have to intiate them. He does tell me he loves me every morning and every night before bed, well usually before bed but always before he leaves in the morning.
I don't know what to do, I don't know how to get him to help me and do what I need for him to do, He says this big boy ain't changing what do I say to that? What happpened? What made him like this because he wasn't like this when I met him that is for sure/
He has this freaking shirt I hate it says I wish my wife would give me the silent treatment, well he wears it when we go out, I don't care if he wears it but why does he have to wear it when I am around? I do not feel that my husband respects me anymore.
Also My husband has gained a 100lbs since I met him, I tell him all the time that part of his problem is he can't move and that he needs to loose weight. When we went to the beach this year he was not out in the water playing with the kids he was sitting his fat butt up in the chair on the beach taking it all in. I tell you that made me mad and I was bitching at him for that, which he says that I do all the time is bitch bitch bitch.
I don't know whatelse to do other then move on!! I really do love him but I think I don't love this man I think I am still in love with what I had, and that man is beyond my reach I don't know where he went, I don't know if I can keep up at this rate.
I am really getting tired!! Please if you have any ideas or questions ask me, or tell me
Michelle

Welcome to the board mixter24,
Is marriage counseling an optioin?
Welcome to the board mixter24,
Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. I was also wondering like Carrie asked if he might be depressed? Have you mentioned to him how much he has changed since you meet? Maybe he doesn't realize it and it might make a difference.
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glitter-graphics.com
When asked if he realizes he has changed he says yes you ran that guy off along time ago, There is no getting that guy back, HE is gone!! I always just look at him when he says this.
Michelle
He says I changed when My son was born because I had the idea that he was caught and I could do anything I wanted to and then the bitching began and I bitched about everything.
I don't know.
\Michelle
He thought you thought he was caught (he's a mind-reader?) and that you could do anything you want? LOL sorry, but having been married, having a child and being a step-mom - there is no way I'd believe that mom's get to do whatever they want.
I recommend you go to counseling on your own.