I can not take another fight!
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| Thu, 04-24-2008 - 10:43pm |
I really feel like I can not take another argument in my marriage. My husband and I have been together for six years and married for three years. We have two small girls and life can be hectic. But recently we have been fighting about everything. Even small and simple questions lead to arguments and hurt feelings. We have tried so many times to talk about why are both so unhappy but we simply can not pin point what is going on and we just can not get on the same track. I feel like he shuts down when we argue and though I know he does not mean to be hurtful he gets so emotional during arguments that he tends to use negative comments that I still remember and feel later. Please help...we need to communicate...but we do not know where we are going wrong.

Are you prepared to do marriage counselling?
Welcome to the board megfaust,
I agree with true.blue.strine about the counseling.
Reading material to consider:
The Last Word on the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense – Susan Elgin
A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman
Ten Rules for Fighting Fair - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlrelationsh&msg=28141.1
It sounds to me as though there are deeper emotional issues going on here in the relationship, with strong reactions that may be getting out of control. As he doesn't know how to handle his feelings he withdraws. This is not good. I suggest the two of you find
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.