I can't deal with this
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I can't deal with this
| Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:56am |
I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I met my current boyfriend about 6 months ago, although we had been coworkers 10 years earlier, so we had known each other previously. I had just broken off an engagement six months before we met due to lying/possibly cheating, etc. I was very bitter and angry at the time, and knew that a new relationship was probably a bad idea. But, of course, I was smitten, and we fell hard for each other. I made the mistake of confiding in my new boyfriend about my previous relationship, the lack of trust, the ways he hurt me, etc. Saturday I received the news that my ex-fiance was in the hospital with a brain tumor, and was going into surgery, and could possibly not make it. I was really torn up on what to do. On the one hand, he hurt me, but on the other hand, it was a possibility that I might never speak to him again, and things were left on bad terms. I did what I thought was the right thing, and went to see him in the hospital. After seeing him, all the anger I had felt about his "sins" in our relationship disappeared. I just don't care anymore. I have no intention of getting back together with him, and I doubt we will even keep in touch, but I think we were both relieved to put the anger behind us. New boyfriend is flipping out. He is accusing me of lying, because apparently when we first started dating I said that I would NEVER have married the fiance (which was probably what I was feeling at the time, but I don't remember saying it), but now I admit that there was a time that I did consider it, and the new boyfriend says he feels betrayed and "played." I don't understand this. He has broken up with me because he says he cannot trust me now. Because six months ago I said something and now my perception has changed? Do I owe new boyfriend an apology????? He broke up with me over e-mail, at work, and is calling me a liar. What the hell do I do? At this point, I don't feel that I have to justify my feelings, and think the whole thing is ridiculous. I tried to reassure him how much I love him, and that I would never go back to the ex, but he is adamant that I am lying about the past and can't be trusted. I am also very angry that he has abandoned me at this time. I don't plan on mourning the ex for a lifetime, but I think I'm allowed a few days to be upset. I don't even know that I could take the new boyfriend back now, since he has displayed a complete lack of compassion or understanding for me. Am I wrong to think this is crazy?????????????????

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Thanks, again, for your insights. I hadn't considered it from that angle.
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