I cant understand what she means!
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| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 12:57am |
I told her How I felt, how much I cared, and how much she mean's to me. I then asked her why she didn’t want a relationship, and what do you think will happen to us.
She replied asking me to give her some time, then told me it could be days or weeks before she knows what she wants to do. She made it clear, that she still cares for me, still likes me, and that I'm the perfect guy for her.
During this time we talked, she showed allot of affection, she keep kissing me, and holding me close. I still could not see why she wanted to do this, did this mean a break? It seems like it, but she still wants me to be around with her, and do the things we did before. I still couldn’t seem to understand at all.. But Before I left she demanded me to kiss her and call her later that night.
I’m very confused! I would appreciate any type of feedback from any gender. Suggestions / Tips / Comments / and any type of advice would be awesome. Could some of you ladies or men out there explain to me what she means, and what could I do to make things better!

Maybe she is thinking she wants to be a little more free, but doesn't want to lose you to someone else either. Maybe she wants to not have that standing date; you know, basically she wants to take you for granted for awhile. It gives her the ability to do as she wants, but know you are still waiting in the wings. It is hard to put it into words. It's not that she doesn't love you anymore, she just wants to see what else is out there. (and that doesn't necessarily mean other guys)
This is just my guess, based on where I've been before. You have to decide if she is worth waiting around for. Let her know that you'll be doing the same thing she is-going out, looking around, etc. You understand, but you're not going to let her use you either. If you are ok with her spending less time with you and more with someone else, or alone, then that's fine and let her know. But if you are a jealous person and are going to get mad or down on yourself because she doesn't call you for something, let her know that too. Most likely, you are one of her closest friends and she'll call you to tell you about whatever fun/wild/crazy thing she did and want you to be happy for her.
Or, ask her to clarify it with specifics of what she thinks she might do, what she wants you to do, etc. I don't think this is the end of you guys, and she wanted you to call her so she can know how this all affected you and that you don't hate her. Sounds like she wants a "safe break".
Instead of swimming, I got emotional... very emotional. Not only because were on this "break" but it seems one of my good friends is trying to get her hooked up with his friend. But she told me I have nothing to worry about, because she’s very picky about who she dates. She then started explaining to me how much her mom loves me, how much her dad loves me, how much her kid loves me, and how much her whole family loves me. But most of all she told me that I’m the PERFECT guy for her and this whole thing is not as bad as it seems.
After I cooled down and got my emotional side back together me and her went inside to watch her fav. show "passions". I laid down on the couch and she came over and laid with me, she then looked at me and, said does this confuse you? I looked at her and told her no, but it did, what did this mean ?!?! When the commercials pop on, she would turn around and hold me tight and kiss my cheek.
At one point she got up and when she returned she got on top of me and made several attempts to kiss me on my lips, but she didn’t. I gave her a look like "what ?!" and she replied I’m to tempted and I don’t you to get confused.
She wants this time to be on her own and I wanna give it to her. Today she wanted me to go somewhere and eat with her and then go to one of her families close friends cookout party. This upcoming Friday is my birthday and on Saturday is a local car show (where my friend and his friend will be going to!! :[ ). For my birthday she wants to get trashed with me, and she wants me to go to the car show with her on Saturday. I told her no on all of these events, because I feel if hang out with her, I wont being giving her the space she wanted and I believe this would just extend the time of our break? I also feel that if I don’t attend these events, it will better help her decide if she wants to be with me... does that make sense? I would appreciate any type of response!! Advice or tips!
She is confused and her confusion is contagious. Her behavior expresses mixed messages and that is what is confusing you. This kind of situation can tie anyone up in knots. But it's not so difficult. If she wants a break, a break is a break. It means you are not together. That means no contact. Do not "do things for her" or hang around like
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Did you see, 'You've got mail?' - Meg Ryan and her boyfriend were 'perfect' for each other, but they weren't in love. She's telling you how much her family, her mom, her dad, her kids love you, but she's not saying how much she loves you.
::After I cooled down and got my emotional side back together me and her went inside to watch her fav. show "passions". I laid down on the couch and she came over and laid with me, she then looked at me and, said does this confuse you? I looked at her and told her no, but it did, what did this mean ?!?! When the commercials pop on, she would turn around and hold me tight and kiss my cheek.
Ok, she still wants to know that you like her, that you are attracted to her, and she still wants to feel emotionally close to you, as her behavior reflects, HOWEVER that affection and attention is a way to make her feel less bad about herself and her decision - meaning If you still respond, still give and accept affection, then she can't be such a bad person for wanting a 'break' to figure out what she wants. It's like a safety net, she doesn't want to let you completely go, but she's not 100% committed to you either.
::At one point she got up and when she returned she got on top of me and made several attempts to kiss me on my lips, but she didn’t. I gave her a look like "what ?!" and she replied I’m to tempted and I don’t you to get confused.
She's saying, being affection with you, doesn't mean the same thing to you that it means to her. It means WAY more to you. You want more than just kissing and sex, you want a real committed relationship and she's not sure yet what she wants.
::She wants this time to be on her own and I wanna give it to her. Today she wanted me to go somewhere and eat with her and then go to one of her families close friends cookout party. This upcoming Friday is my birthday and on Saturday is a local car show (where my friend and his friend will be going to!! :[ ). For my birthday she wants to get trashed with me, and she wants me to go to the car show with her on Saturday. I told her no on all of these events, because I feel if hang out with her, I wont being giving her the space she wanted and I believe this would just extend the time of our break? I also feel that if I don’t attend these events, it will better help her decide if she wants to be with me... does that make sense? I would appreciate any type of response!! Advice or tips
Good for you. Personally, I would tell her this - you initiated a break up and while I disagree with it, I am willing to accept your decision. However, there need to be some ground rules, like no contact for a month (or what ever time limit you deem necessary for your sanity) and tell her to contact you when she is sure what she wants.
Carrie