I cheated...now what?
Find a Conversation
I cheated...now what?
| Fri, 01-02-2004 - 1:25am |
I was deployed with the military for several months, so I was forced to be away from my husband. During that time I had an affair with somebody who I ended up falling in love with. Our relationship was not based on sex, as many affairs are, but rather, a deep emotional connection. My relationship with my husband of 1 1/2 years had no problems, or so I thought, and the whole time during the affair we agreed that it was temporary and I'd return home and resume my life as usual. When I got home, however, I didn't want my husband as much any more. I focused on all his flaws, and decided he wasn't the one for me. I'm still with him, and he doesn't know anything about any of this. The man I had the affair with was less attractive (physically) than my husband, and has many flaws that would normally turn me off. But the way he made me feel (emotionally, not sexually) is something that I don't think I can ever let go of. When I married my husband, it was because I decided he was a good match for me, and I could be content spending the rest of my life with him. More head than heart, I guess. Now I spend every waking moment thinking about how it would be if I was with the other person. Even if he's not the match for me (because he has his own issues to resolve before entering into another relationship) I still question daily whether I should continue on or end it with my husband before we have children, houses, etc. I always thought marriage was forever, but now I wonder if I married him for the wrong reasons, and if I should get out before it's too late. He's hoplessly loyal, and sweet, but he just doesn't challenge and inspire me in the way that I think I need. I married my him because he's young and good looking, and has a good heart, but we're not intellectually compatible. The other man is older, more mature, and stimulates me intellectually and emotionally in a way that I've never experienced before. I'm not sure what to do here...

Not to mention bringing children into the marriage that is already doomed & basically a lie could be disasterous. Be Honest with yourself and your husband so he doesnt think he has done something wrong. Imagine you could both find true love there is nothing better than that and if you try to change him or struggle to make it work your cheating your self. I wish you both true love and pray that you can have the strength to do whats really best here.
Best Wishes.
ab25
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
CL Ask A Guy