I Did The Right Thing, Right?
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|Fri, 12-13-2013 - 12:41am|
My boyfriend and I broke up today after two years. For two reasons: his inability to admit when he's wrong and the women friends in his life. Now he loves me and has treated me well. But from the beginning, I've had to deal w/ an unusual relationship with his ex who is his best friend. A needy, fragile girl who he has been reluctant to tell that he is in a committed relationship for fear that she will have some sort of breakdown. I've tried to be understanding because he spends most of his time w/ me and she's in another country so no real threat. BUT, this girl has posted fotos from when they were together (of him nuzzling her neck) as her FB profile foto, leaves hearts and other comments which hint at an emotional connection they share. To draw attention to herself, to make me or any other girl she suspects him of being involved w/ angry? Possibly. But what matters to me is that I have been called insecure and forced to deal with this for two years, all to spare some stranger's feelings.
He's an attractive man and having admirers is not a big deal; I expect it. But the women who are borderli e disrespectful are the ones in his inner circle the ones who are supposed to know he's in a relationship (w/ the exception of the best friend) so why are they being syrupy and ' hubby boo'? But im the mental one for having an issue with it?
Something doesn't add up. We've had fights about this and it always comes down to him calling me insecure instead of putting these women in their places once and for all. Its like enjoys the attention. I cant say hes doing anything to encourage it..not that i can see..but he does speak to these women either via fone or email too so whatevers going on hes not DIScouraging them either.
What makes it so difficult is I can't express how I feel about this really or anything without him making it about me. He is NEVER to blame. EVER. He thinks he's perfect and always right. He forces me to sit and listen to him talk, sometimes for 20, 30, 40 minutes straight and if interrupt he loses it. Calls me immature. But who can sit and let someone talk AT them for that long w/o interruption, to offer feedback or rebuttal or anything? The irony is that when its my turn to speak he cuts me off, starts dissecting my statements and tries to invalidate everything I say.
We've broken up several times amd he will yell 'f*ck you' to me and hang up then send me a barrage of texts about how immature I am, how much he's done w/ me, how I'm ruining our relationship, how he feels sorry for me, I'm going to end up alone, im an incomplete person, I have daddy issues and can't respect a real man...yada yada smh
On the flip side, hes a dream when we aren't fighting. Attentive, supportive, loving, helps me make good decisions....but I feel like the negatives are now outweighing the positives. So finally today I just let it go and refused to speak to him or reply to his insulting text msgs. Its hard because I love him but I think he's some kind of narcissist and I don't see a future w/ someone so self righteous..and its starting to feel a little like emotional abuse which ive never experienced so idk..but it doesnt feel good. I believe he truly loves me but ues got this issue that i cant live with. He told me he would ask his dad why he would talk to himself and his dad would reply 'I'm the smartest person I know'. He said 'I'm the smartest person I know too'. Just to give u an idea of what I'm dealing with.
Did i do the right thing?Sorry so long. Thanks for reading.