i don't know wat to do? help!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
i don't know wat to do? help!!!!
5
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 12:45am

i've been seein this great guy for 7weeks and we've just started going out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 8:12am

This might seem obvious, but NO MAN is going to want a woman he has to clean up after when she drinks. This guy has already had to clean up vomit and change urine-soaked bedclothes--yuck!

Don't worry about saving the relationship, which is probably over anyway; instead, focus on fixing yourself. Stop drinking, because you don't seem to do it very well, and it's not a skill worth working on. Then spend some time figuring out why you are so insecure around his friends that you seek courage in alcohol, and work on developing your self-esteem so you don't keep humiliating yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 9:50am

I agree with geoteo...Most people are on their best behavior the first few months, (if this is yours I would hate to see your worst) within seven weeks you get drunk more than once where you forget what happens, he has to clean up after you more than once, ..If it were me I probably would have stopped seeing you after the first time it happened. I would let this one go.

Stay away from alcohol (you can't handle it) work on yourself, find out why you feel the need to drink to the point you can't control yourself. Very unattractive behavior. No one with any self respect will continue to put up with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 10:18am

You have a drinking problem. And when you drink, you turn into an infant who he has to clean up after and change her diaper. Would YOU be attracted to this?

You're embarrassed but not embarrassed enough to stop drinking. Can you adopt a mentality of "I don't want this to end up like last time" in order to help you stay away from a drink? You're not going to like this but he's probably about to break up with you. If he does break up with you, it will be for the best - the only thing you can do to TRY to stop it is to stop drinking. Entirely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 10:39am

Welcome to the board grace.xxxxx,

Your main problem here is your drinking. Have you considered going to AA meeting or getting some help for your drinking? Do you realize that you have a problem with drinking? This guy has had to deal with a lot from you in only 7 short weeks and it is possible that he won't be able to get past that. He really can't be blamed for that. Your best chance at saving this relationship (if he is willing to stick around) or making your next relationship work is getting a handle on your drinking. Best of luck to you.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 12:56pm

It's simple - stop drinking. No one wants to go out with a person who keeps getting drunk. Of course he's backing away from you. It must be frightening and distasteful for him. If you cannot stop drinking on your own, face that you have a problem with this and go to AA. Otherwise, the drinking, will spoil many things that could be wonderful in your life.


Best wishes,