I dont know who else to ask
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I dont know who else to ask
| Wed, 12-12-2007 - 12:05am |
So my bf and I haven't has sex since June 2006. He hasn't said I love you in about 9 months. I don't understand because when we started dating (about 2 years ago) he really wanted to have sex and he would tell me he loves me about once a week. He's given so many excuses to not have sex (the latest one being "I don't like it") The problem is I don't feel like he loves me; when i try to tell him this, he says "u know that's not true" and he "doesn't like to say it." I am so frustrated! Its not like he just forgetting to say it, hes going out of his way not to say it. I'm not expecting like every day or every hour, but once a month just to remind me wouldn't hurt. I don't know what's going on with the sex thing, but the "i love you" thing just hurts. Its 3 words that we already said to each other and it would make me so happy to hear them; so why wouldn't he want to say them to me? What is going on here?

I'm sorry to say this... But the reason your boyfriend doesn't say "I love you" anymore is because he doesn't love you.
He sounds too cowardly and comfortable to end this relationship. If he hasn't been having sex with you since June 2006 then he's having it somewhere else.
I can't believe you've stayed with him this long. This relationship is way overdue to end.
Doesn't sound like much of a relationship - no sex since June 2006?
What is your relationship like otherwise? Have you talked about your future together recently?
I'm wondering if everything else is 'normal' and he truly wants a future with you is it possible he's depressed? Has he been to a Dr. over the last year and a half? I'm sure people will disagree with me on it, but I think there is the possibility that his actions are related to a deeper health issue. I'm not saying that is what the problem is, but it doesn't hurt to check it out. It may be a difficult subject to speak about, but if he truly does love you he will want to resolve this too.
Welcome to the board sweetie326,
Wow, no sex since June of 2006.
Other than that its a good relationship. He likes to cuddle and talk and make me happy. He says im beautiful and pretty and smart and cute and all that stuff. We go out to movies and dinners and dates or whatever. He says the future is looking up and I have a good life, and i will be taken care of for the rest of my life.
Oh and I dont think hes depressed. 90 percent of the time i would describe him as hypomanic.
Edited 12/12/2007 2:19 pm ET by sweetie326
Depression comes in different forms. Not saying that's what he is suffering from, but if he says things like he wants a future with you, he should probably have a checkup to see if there is something going on.
If he loves you and wants to make the relationship work he will have to figure out what has changed. If its not a physical problem, perhaps he needs to re-evaluate your relationship.
The real question is why in the world are you still in a relationship with him? What are you getting out of it except pain? The fact that you haven't had sex in almost a year and half tells you that the romantic aspect of the relationship is gone. It's over. He isn't a boyfriend, he's a friend.
You've become confused about what is what. There is no reason at all you should be deprived of love, affection, attention and sex. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean he's your boyfriend. Friends can love each other as well.
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