I don't think I should have apologized..

Avatar for ivlolo29
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
I don't think I should have apologized..
11
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 9:23am

Dr. Shoshanna,


I didn't see your reply to my other topic of 'How To Deal with a Scrooge' so I ended up apologizing to my husband for not understanding him and that if he doesn't like something he should be able to express himself without me getting mad at him and blaming him for ruining the spirit of Christmas for us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 1:44pm

Here's the link to your previous thread. Dr. Shoshanna's response is #7.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlrelationsh&msg=29994.1&ctx=512

edited to correct a typo




Edited 12/19/2007 1:46 pm ET by geoteo
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 2:59pm

My initial reaction was... your husband is acting like a spoiled brat.

Avatar for ivlolo29
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 3:57pm
I did read her reply so that is why I am typing this one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 4:18pm

All this sounds very familiar to me,

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for ivlolo29
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 4:37pm
I'm sorry if it sounded like I was blaming Dr. Shoshanna but that couldn't be farther from the truth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 12-19-2007 - 4:50pm

And the

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for ivlolo29
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 10:47am
It could possibly be but I am not a doctor so I am not going to diagnose him or start making assumptions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:40pm

He doesn't have to go see anyone or get a diagnosis.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:41pm

Answers over email will not really help this situation. You are both in a destructive pattern and need professional help attending to it. You both need your own therapists and also someone eventually to deal with what is going on between you.


It's not a matter of someone else telling you what to do. That won't solve anything. What you need to do is to-get to know who you are, your behavior and his as well. You also need the on-going support that therapy will give. It takes time to understand how to deal with our reactions and how to become aware of them.


Get some professional guidance here and things will be much better for you.


Best wishes,

Avatar for ivlolo29
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 5:03pm
I see what you mean and yes I am sure he would have less anxiety/negativity with a plan but as I explained before we have done things when we were with my family and he still complained and got agitated.

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