I don't understand....
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| Sat, 01-19-2008 - 1:04pm |
My boyfriend and I are in our early 20's and have been dating for close to two years. We live together and often talk about the future ("In a few years when we do __________") but for some reason, he CANNOT say, "I want to be with you forever." We had this conversation last night:
Somehow it got started and the jist of it was him saying, "I am so in love with you and want to only be with you. It's not about meeting anyone else, etc. etc. etc. But I can't say forever. I don't think that far into the future. I'M YOUNG." He said, "To me, the day I say I want to be with you forever is the day I propose to you." To me though, we are in a really serious relationship and we seem to be on the same page with most things and I know he loves me as much as he says he does, but not being able to say "forever" means he DOESN'T see us as a forever thing.
My question is, is it like he says, that we are just misunderstanding each other? Or am I settling with someone who can't commit? Are we too young to even be worrying about that? I am a senior in college and he is 23. His whole schtick is, "We are so in love NOW. Why can't you be satisfied with that?" I keep telling him, NOW is okay...now. But in the future, I am going to need a solid "forever" commitment. He says, "let's cross that bridge when we get to it." Who makes more sense: him or me?

You're misunderstanding him.
If you think that YOU have any concept of forever, you're mistaken. No human being is capable of seeing that far into the future. "Forever" is just a concept that sounds nice romantically, obviously no one is going to be around that long.
He makes more sense, sorry to take his side but if you're in your early 20s you're both a) way too young to be able to see the far distant future and b) happy together and not wanting to leave your relationship for a long time. I hope you can be content with that, and not looking for a man to literally give you the moon ... :)