I don't understand him!
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I don't understand him!
| Wed, 09-15-2004 - 2:12pm |
Hello all! This is a very long story, but I'll keep it brief to spare you all from having to spend ages reading it. Pretty basically, I met Chris while on vacation in February 2002. He lived in Florida, I lived in Indiana. After a couple of visits and a lot of phone conversations, I moved to Florida in July of '02. I got my own apartment; we didn't move in together, although I would have liked to. Everything was wonderful and we were very much in love. He even told me to show him which engagement ring I would like!! I have always had issues with depression, and my illness reared it's ugly head that winter. It wasn't anything to do with Chris, there was just a lot of other crap going on in my life. In fact, without Chris, it would have been a million times worse. I know that I wasn't the easiest person to be around, but I was working on things. However, faced with my illness, plus pressure from his parents to marry me and the less-than-desirable influence of his best friend, he broke up with me in January of 2003. This totally devestated me. I coped as best as I could and was actually doing really well until this spring. But total coincidence, I met a woman at the beach at around the same time that Chris met her in an on-line situation. This person has some major issues and decided that it was her job to get Chris and I back together (which I wouldn't have minded, but it was pretty freaky). Because of all of this, Chris and I spoke on the phone numerous times over a period of several months and even had lunch once. We never discussed getting back together, but we did talk about some things (like my depression, which is now under control) and we were making plans to spend some time together. Then, all of a sudden, he just quit calling me and wouldn't take my calls, either. I ran into him at a bar about 6 weeks ago as he was getting ready to leave and he said that it was really great to see me and that we had some things we needed to talk about and that he would call me. Then he hugged me and left. He never called. About a week later, I called him to make sure he made it through hurricane Charley OK, and we talked for a couple of minutes. The he said that we have some things that we really need to talk about but he had to deal with the damage to his house so he would call me later in the week. He has still never called. I've tried calling a couple of times (OK, about once a week), and he never answers at home or on his cell. I left a message last week pretty basically saying that if he had something to say that he didn't want to say directly to me, then to just leave a message on my machine while I'm at work. I still haven't heard anything. I was doing OK until all this mess started, but after talking with him and seeing him, I'm right back to where I was originally. I still love him and want him back, and while I know that's not going to happen, it doesn't change how I feel. I just don't understand him. All my friends tell me just to get over it, but that's easier said than done, as we all know. Any suggestions???

I'm sorry you have to go through this.
There has to be lots of nice guys in Florida....I'm positive you will find one!
Well, he is mean leaving you hanging like this. If you need to nearly "stalk" him and confront him to get closure, then it is not worth it is it.?
Your closure is this: He is not trying to contact you and he is trying hard to avoid talking to you at all. So his actions show he is DONE with you. He does not want to see you or talk to you so anything she said to him or anything you want is unimportant because, sadly, he is making it clear and simple that he does not want to have anything to do with you.
So, accept your relationship is over, done, nada. And go on with your life. You have your answer. Let that answer be your closure. Good luck.