i dont understand why!..grr

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
i dont understand why!..grr
4
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:59pm
ok so i meet this guy through mutaul friends it wasnt planned , and i wasnt looking for anything or even thought anything of him but bam we hit it off like right away he took me home that day and he asked for my number so i gave it to him and 2 days went bye and i called him ..ever since then we were like i dont know how to explain it his best friend so happens to be my best friends boyfriend and he told both of them that he feels like he has known me forever and that i was an awesome girl granted i have only known him a month but he has treated me better in that short month then anyone i had ever been involved with .. well about right after a month after we met he got a call from his recruiter for the army he had tried to join about a year ago but he was too heavy and was told he needed to loose some weight so he was like eh watever but this time he was asked to come in and try again so he did and made it... and he told me that he had always wanted to and when i asked him where we stand at he told me that he will be gone to bootcamp for 19 weeks then when he comes home he will be here for only 2 weeks then after that he will be gone to where ever they send him for a year or longer and that we didnt really have enough time together for it to be logical for him to ask me to wait and i respect that and knew that this is problay the right thing .. and his has told his whole family how he feels about me and all my friends that it was real but for some reason after that day he got very distant and never really called cept like twice and was really short with me after he asked for my adress so i went to his best friend and asked if he knew why he was being weird and he said thats is becasue he really was starting to fall for me but realized he really wanted the army thing to and he would rather avoid u or be short with so that i wont get any more attached and be more upset and just to let it go wich he made a comment before saying you will thank me later when i asked why he didnt want me to wait for him .. we were sexually involved but i really dont feel like it was all just about a guy getting laid becasue i really feel it was real and he was sincere but at the same time i have been through so many kinds of relationships where its always casual and never gets to that dating point but with him they way he was with me i knew if things were different we would be together i just wanted your advice and opinion on if you think he is full of poo or if its actually possible that he is being the logical and smart one out of the two haha becuase i have 2 opinions from everyone his family says he is right but others say pfft he was going into the army and knew he wouldnt be getting laid anymore and striahgt up used you... ahh what do you think? thanks ..monica
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 5:39am

Was he using you for sex? Only he knows.

But honestly, if you're having sex with a guy when there's no commitment, you get what's coming to you. There's no sense wondering whether or not you were used when you gave it up so easily.

If you want to avoid being used, then refrain from having sex till you really know your partner.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 11:38am

yea i know believe me and i have made this mistake before and when i met him i promised my self i wouldnt do that again but we spent so much time together and things were so awesome i really felt like it was ok this time everyone he knew kept saying how much he liked me and that he never thought he could connect with someone so quickly

i dont feel like he used me really i juss dont understand if he was sincere about just letting it go cuz of his carrer or not

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:09pm

It sounds like he was really enjoying your company. But when the offer of the Army suddenly arrived, he had to chase his dream.

Tell me this; did you know he was trying to loose weight to get into the army?

If yes; then none of this should be a surprise to you. It would appear that you've overlooked reality while in that delicious phase of a new relationship.

If no; then you didn't know him as well as you thought you did. Therefore, you don't really know if he was good partner material.

The thing with relationships is that they don't come with any guarantees. Even 50% of people who marry end up splitting up later. That's not to say that we should avoid relationships so as to avoid being hurt, but we should accept the pitfalls that come with them.

PS could you please use punctuation in your posts? They are very hard to read =)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 9:21pm
well he told me that a year or so earlier he went in and he was too heavy and they told him to focus on loosing some weight and he did for about 2 months and then went back and was mad because they told him he still needed to loose only three pounds so that made him mad and pretty much decided to for get it.. then two weeks after i met him they asked him to come back in and this time he made it and he told me that this is something he always wanted so i had to respect that right? and if we would have met a few months earlier then things would probaly be different, he said it wasnt really logical to ask me to wait being that we have only known eachother for a month wich in reality he is right i just wish i knew for sure he was sincere and that what we had for only a little time was real i really feel that im being paranoid and it was just all bad timing but its still hard to tell