I dont want to go back to H but should I
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I dont want to go back to H but should I
| Sun, 11-04-2007 - 6:48am |
I am very torn . I was in a very emotionally controlling relationship for 19 yrs. and filed for divorce about 1 year ago . I have had a boyfriend who I am deeply connected to . The problem is my husband has changed and finally has seen his ways were wrong in how he has treated me. I am desperately confused because I just don't find him attractive but he brings everything else to the table ....he is the father of our children ...he does have a great income....he is really not a bad guy...I just don't have any feelings towards him, I am scraping at the bottom of the barral to get the feelings I need for him back to make our marriage work. I have tried to cut of my other relationship so it wouldn't cloud my feeling for my H but when I do I am constanly failing at it. I have tried going on dates with H and it is like I feel I am with my brother. I don't dislike him I just don't see myself back with him. I want to do the right thing and I feel the right thing would be to just get back with him but when I think about doing it I feel like I am giving up so much of myself. Maybe I am just selfish.Maybe marriage is suppose to be a commitment no matter what. I

Well, you can't say you didn't try. Even if your husband recently saw the error of his ways, how do you know he will change? Right now he's on his best new-relationship first-date behavior because he's trying to win you back and he knows you're leaving because of what he did before. But if you go back to him, and he no longer has to put up this facade to keep you there, how do you know things won't go back to the way they were? Really, you don't. I think your lack of feelings for him could either just be that they wore off from being treated badly, or a defense mechanism to keep you from being hurt again. It would be justified.
So you gave it a shot with him and your feelings aren't there anymore. I think you should go through with the divorce and give yourself a real chance at happiness. It seems your well of feelings for this man have run dry, and you shouldn't have to live the rest of your life like that.
I agree with Eggbert: it's time to finish what you started, and go through with the divorce.
Welcome to the board beth1988,
What made him change?