I ended it
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| Mon, 02-09-2004 - 12:12am |
So I ended it on Friday and felt relief. In fact I feel a lot happier. But, naturally, there's a part of me that feels sad. I am very independent, run my own successful business, etc etc. But I'm getting to that stage of life (38 y/o) where I want to be in a good relationship and get married, have children etc. But now I wonder if it will happen. It just seems so elusive. And I'm feeling rather despondent that there are any good relationships out there. I know what I want in a relationship, so I guess that's a start. I was single for a very long time before I met him and I was so in love with him. It was really hard ending it and I put it off until I was very sure.
So how come it hurts and why do I feel so bad? Maybe I should have tried harder? I don't know. I did the right thing didn't I? It's no good staying in a bad relaitonship, right? I shoudl have got out sooner? Any reassurance would be most welcome.
Louise

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Sweetie, you can do so much better than this looser, really you can. All he's doen is used and abused you and you are absolutely right to say "enough is enough". A real loveing relationship is give and take. It's an equal partnership, not one person getting all the perks and the other making all the payments (and I don't mean just money)
Do not be afraid to face anyone. My stbx told me the same things this guy is telling you and guess what? When we finally split, I was truely amazed at the number of people who said stuff like, "It's about time" and "I can't believe you put up with that treatment for as long as you did"
Louise, stop talking to him. Stop letting him lie to you and put you down. He is not good enough. It hurts right now, that's for sure, because of all you've invested in this dream. You will never have your dream come true with this guy because it's all about him. It's all about him getting what he wants, no matter what it does to you, your heart or your soul.
Counseling is not a bad idea. You sound so very depressed and confused. The confusion is part of the conditioning that the abuser uses to keep us under their thumb. Please come over to the Recognizing and Dealing with Domestic Abuse board. Just read some of the posts. You'll see that you are not alone in what you are feeling. You'll see that it is not you with the problem.
Hugs to you, my friend. Susan.
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