I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING DEFEATED
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| Thu, 04-19-2007 - 10:38am |
hi,
i just need to vent... i'm having drama w/my child's father. its not drama that's about the baby its drama about HIM. he's still operating in this "its about me" attitute and does things to make me jealous on purpose and then when i get mad and want to talk about it - he acts uninterested or says that i'm blowing things way of out proportion. he has these ex-gfs that he still talks to regularyly and they say things about me to him, planting seeds in his head etc and then when he comes back to tell me what they say - of course we fight about it! EVERY SINGLE FIGHT THAT WE'VE EVER HAD HAS HAD SOMETHING TO DO W/THEM. i've told him repeatedly that i'm tired of having my life disrupted b/c of the ex's. and that he's weak and easy to manipulate b/c he lets them do it. i do realize that its not the exes its HIM. i just don't understand why he does it? is it to stroke his ego?
we have to be apart of each others lives for the rest of our life, so why is he making this so difficult?
i want this relationship to work out but not at the expense of me and my baby's health and well being. i just can't put up w/this anymore! its very stressful and i put waaaaaaaaaaaay to much energy into this matter already. i'm just ready for it to be over and to be honest, unless he's ready - it will never be. so what do i do?
thanks,
e.

Welcome to the board iejones63,
I'm not sure what you want to work out?
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You're right. It takes two people to want the same things in a relationship and to make the relationship work. It's a reasonable request for you to make of him that he let go of these ex girlfriends, especially as they are a disruption in the relationship. If he is not willing to, he is disrespecting you and your needs and feelings. If he isn't willing to take care of you, put your feelings first and protect you from upsetting influences, then he is not a true partner, but someone who is, as you say, playing games with you.
You do not have to get involved in his games. Sit down and get clear about your own standards in a relationship, what you need, want and what is healthy and constructive for you. Then, let him know how you see a positive relationship and see if he agrees. See if he is willing to go for counseling. If he is not, if he just wants to keep this drama going, then go get yourself some counseling so you have the strength and perspective to make a healthy choice for yourself.
Best wishes,
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I also get the impression that they're not together. The fact that the OP refers to him as her baby's father and not boyfriend/husband is quite unusual for a 'couple'.
My advice if they are not together is that the OP needs to keep communication strictly about the baby and not discuss other issues in his life.
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