I feel like I'm losing him...please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
I feel like I'm losing him...please help
2
Sun, 03-30-2008 - 5:46pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for about three and a half years. The first year was so wonderful, he was so sweet and caring. He showed me loved me everyday in some little way.

Thank you
Starlitmoon
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 03-30-2008 - 8:22pm

I think you should get over your need to have his attention all of the time and receive little gestures every day. Your relationship progressed to the point where that shouldn't be necessary anymore; there are very very very few men out there who will feel like they still need to impress you after three and a half years together.

"I need him in my life."
WRONG.
"I could never love anyone the way I love him."
WRONG.

I think you need to get over this Princess Syndrome of yours where a relationship needs to be a fantasy where your prince treats you like a princess all of the time. You also need to get rid of these wrong high-school-drama thoughts like "I could never love anyone else" or "I need him". You're a human being who can exist by herself, you're not just some cancerous growth attached to some man.

Get into counseling, tomorrow if possible, because the expectations and jealousy you have will eventually drive away any guy, not just this one. You're wise to realize that, at least. He should be allowed to have female friends. If you continue to get upset with him over it, he will either limit his interaction with her and resent you for it or simply limit what he says to you and resent you for it. Either way you lose. A harmonious relationship is one in which both people are free to do whatever they want but don't WANT to cross any lines with other people because they're happy where they are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 03-30-2008 - 8:42pm

Welcome to the board starlitmoon87,


I think you have at least two differrent issues going on here.