I feel unimportant to him
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I feel unimportant to him
| Sat, 05-22-2004 - 4:48pm |
My boyfriend doesn't stare at other women or anything, and I am sure he's faithful to me, but he talks about the things other women do during sex and other women's, um, physical attributes and compares that to me, like during and right after we have sex! He claims he's making a generalization based on what his guy friends and women friends have told him, and not based on his own sexual past. True, he does not always cite specific examples, but I still find it insulting and it makes me feel very unimportant. He should be holding me and focusing on us, not telling me that I do it the same way most girls do it. He also makes it a point to tell me if he thinks my friends are pretty and even hot, and has to tell me every time some girl has hit on him or asked him out. It feels like I've been stabbed in the gut every time he says something like this and I have to wonder - is he trying to make me jealous? I tried to talk to him about it and he told me I was being oversensitive. I think that I am pretty secure and am just trying to set a boundary. I wasn't mean or blaming, I used "I" language and I told him that I didn't think he was meaning to hurt me, it's not the end of the world, and I care about him, but my feelings get hurt when he talks about stuff like that. Is it too much to think that if he cared about me, he'd curb talk like that after hearing that it hurts me?

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I'm so sorry this is happening. I know what you mean about hoping he'll change. He probably will, only it won't be for the better. This is a major reason to take things veerrrrry slowly and be wary of anyone who wants to get serious quickly. Take your time and get to know the next guy. It takes at least 6 months for someone to show their true colors, so before that time, you really don't know them. And if they want to get serious very quickly, it's a red flag because *they* don't know *you* yet.
I know all of this makes you feel that you've failed, but you haven't. YOu just haven't found the right guy yet.
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