I feel useless in my marriage. My husband has his own
Anka, you sound very sad and disillusioned in your post.
I would suggest some counseling--first of all for you, since you said that you don't like yourself.
Hmm. You have an interesting role in this family. Father and son have their work cut out for them and you are left over with "miscellaneous house duties" that wouldn't really make a woman feel very good about herself in the year 2011, especially if, to her husband and son, she didn't feel up to par.
If they don't like your sandwiches (how can you not like a sandwich?) they can make their own. It takes less than five minutes.
You say your day to day life is "flexible". What do you do during your days? Can you fit in time to go to the gym or do some kind of exercise-related activity? What would make you feel more useful in your own life? Do you have any interests that you are pursuing? What about going back to school?
If my SO criticized my cooking the way yours does, I would no longer be making meals. "I only ask one thing of you" "well if I can't do it right, then stop complaining and hire a cook"
Your focus needs to be on finding some way to feel more worthy to yourself, and not just an auxiliary part of this family.
It seems to me that you have no real purpose in life.
I have read your posts and I feel like there is something missing??Not to judge you but first you say your life is good and then
It sounds more like a 1950's type household here where the man is the primary breadwinner and the woman is the primary homemaker.
I know it hurts when people criticize our efforts, and I also know how it feels to be in a rut. I hope you start to feel revitalized in some ways. I really do.
Do you actually enjoy cooking? I don't know, maybe it's all a perspective thing. You can turn a frustrating situation into something much better...maybe put in effort to find some new cuisines. Surprise him with some new elaborate dishes...throw a kink in this situation. Freshen things up on the dinner table. I think he's perhaps in a rut too and really doesn't set out to hurt you. How about bookmark some diverse delicious looking recipes off of food.com (that's where I get a lot of mine!) and surprise them with something totally unlike you to cook. Just try it once to see if you act more creative and confident, and enjoy your role as the cook of the home, if that doesn't make a different impression on him. I think it might even make him not seem so hurtful when he puts in his "criticism" of the meal. Putting a little joy into the process can actually affect the outcome. It's true, it really is. :) I recently tried out several new dishes in my home, all kinds of diverse stuff my fam wouldn't normally think I'd whip up. Take control of the situation. Don't sit around and let him boo-hoo on you with his dull reaction to your meals.
Also, I believe that maybe your husband also feels that his life too revolves around you and both your son. I like to think that in families we are mutually dependent in good ways. Sometimes we get so frustrated in our own situation that it becomes harder to perspective-take. All of your feelings are totally valid, and I think you will find some ways to spruce things up in your life.
P.S. Don't feel guilty about posting on ivillage! :-) There are tons of ladies here and I don't think many of us feel extremely guilty about posting here :-)
Ank,I replied to your first post before reading any of the thread(including your reply which I just now saw and am reading)...