I Have Been Patient & Understanding About My Husband's ED, But Patience Is wearing Thin!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
I Have Been Patient & Understanding About My Husband's ED, But Patience Is wearing Thin!
5
Fri, 09-02-2011 - 1:27am

My Husband and I have been dealing with his Erectile Dysfunction for over a year now. He has tried viagra it stopped working, then he tried the pump it was very painful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You know exactly why he's jealous, and that's understandable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I was going to suggest counseling but if he won't go for it, i don't know what else you can do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

I really don't recent him for it and I do understand it is not his fault. But it is not my fault either, what I resent is him blaming me for everything and his constant complaining about me. I was the one who found out that the medicine he was taking for his enlarged prostate was contributing to his ED and after he came off the medicine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I think your complaints about him are valid but when he has something that he'd like YOU to improve, you knock them down. Maybe you DO spend a lot of time on the phone. Maybe you COULD put a little effort into looking nice even if you are just going to the grocery store. Even if you don't want to, is it that hard to put in effort? If he sees you putting in some kind of effort to make him happy, maybe he will be more receptive to trying harder for you, too.

As for sex, it may sound obvious but it's time to place less importance on intercourse and look at other ways besides penetration that you can feel good with one another.

I feel sorry for the both of you. ED is not his fault but it sounds like you resent him for it. That is very troublesome. I can't imagine a man who can only have a semblance of a sex life by giving himself injections or using painful devices on himself. That must be even more miserable for him than it is for you.

"I have not complained or made him feel inadequate"

Just because you haven't said "you are inadequate" in those words doesn't mean he is fooled into feeling like you're satisfied with him.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003

Show him your post (you can edit where you deem necessary) and ask him what he wants to do about it and use it as a basis of honest, non-blaming discussion.